madmacmo
0
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2009
- Messages
- 284
- Points
- 63
This is the AUDIT Test for Laser Forum Social Tendency Disorder and Coherent Light Addiction Preoccupation.
To correctly answer some of these questions you need to know the definition of a laser. For this test one laser is:
1. How often do you buy a laser?
Never (score 0)
Monthly or Less (score 1)
2-4 times a month (score 2)
2-3 times a week (score 3)
4 or more times a week, and or if you noticed that two or more components are missing from within the Aggregate Laser Parts list definition (score 4)
2. Do you
Sort your lasers by wave length (0)
Give pet names to your lasers (1)
Give your pets wave length names (2)
Give your children wave length names (3)
Had your name changed to a wave length (4)
3. How many lasers do you own?
None (0)
Three or less (1)
Six or less (2)
Twelve or more (3)
More than you can count (4)
4. How often during the past year have you found that you could not resist buying a laser?
Never (0)
Less than monthly (1)
Monthly (2)
Weekly (3)
You buy every damn new one you see (4)
5. How often during the past year have you worked all night and gone without sleep the next day in order to get the build you are working on put together and working just right?
Never (0)
Less than monthly (1)
Monthly (2)
Weekly (3)
You go days at a time without sleep working on a single laser build and the friggin thing still isn’t as perfect as you think it should be (4)
6. How often during the past year have you awoken in the middle of the night just to check the Buy Sell & Trade Section of the Forum for new posts or the check eBay or Craigslist for any new laser or laser paraphernalia listings?
Never (0)
Less than monthly (1)
Monthly (2)
Weekly (3)
Your alarm clock is set so that you won’t miss the automatic e-mail notifications from your saved searches’ as soon as they are sent out each night (4)
7. How often during the past year have you felt guilty or remorseful for not having bought the very last laser or laser part being offered before someone else beat you to it; or you have been remorseful for not having bought two of them just so you could have one for each hand?
Never (0)
Less than monthly (1)
Monthly (2)
Weekly (3)
Just two? What the hell! You buy all of them and then you hunt down anyone and everyone that may have every bought one before and you clean them out too (4)
8. How often during the past year have you have you received a laser in the mail and didn’t even remember that you had ordered it?
Never (0)
Less than Once (1)
Not equal to Twice (2)
More than Twice (3)
You just let the delivered packages & boxes stack up without even opening them (4)
9. You have opened at least one BS&T Thread where you
Successfully completed the sale of a laser (0)
Put a laser up for sale only to take it back down shortly thereafter because you just couldn't think of parting with it (1)
Put all of your lasers up for sale because you lost your job due to your laser hobby obsession (2)
Put your girlfriend up for sale (3)
Put your mother up for sale (4)
10. Has a relative, friend, doctor, or health care worker been concerned about your laser purchasing, or suggested that you cut down?
No (0)
Yes, in years past (1)
Yes, within the last year (2)
Yes, however you were able to regain a healthy balance between family time and your hobby (3)
You have your laser orders sent to your office, to a friend’s house or you rent space at FedEx or UPS so that your wife, parents, and probation officer won’t know how many and how often you are buying lasers (4)
Your score:
Normal - If you scored 0-19 you have a healthy outlook and reasonable approach to your laser hobby – you are also more likely to make regular donations to the forum and are concerned when the monthly goal is not met
Treatable - If you scored 20-29 you more than likely have a treatable form of a Laser Forum STD (Social Tendency Disorder) – you are less likely to make donations to the forum and do not worry if the donation goal is met or not
In Need of Immediate Intervention - If you scored 30 or higher you have progressed into a most virulent contagious stage where everyone with which you have been in contact will have to be tested to insure that you have not given them a Case of the CLAP (Coherent Light Addictive Preoccupation) as well.
Not only do you not make donations to the forum, you are most likely actively trying to hack into the donation thread in an attempt to divert the funds to your PayPal account.
To correctly answer some of these questions you need to know the definition of a laser. For this test one laser is:
- One fully functional Laser Pointer, HeNe, Labby, or Projector
- Or sufficient Aggregate Laser Parts for a complete build: i.e. diode, Aixiz module, lens, focus adapter, focus adapter spring, heat sink, driver, host, silicon wire, solder, flux, heat shrink, Arctic Silver, Hologram warning label, Hologram anti-tamper sticker.
- Or any quantity of parts, materials or tools whose sum total value at time of purchase equals or exceeds the cost of how much you spend on meals and groceries for a whole week.
1. How often do you buy a laser?
Never (score 0)
Monthly or Less (score 1)
2-4 times a month (score 2)
2-3 times a week (score 3)
4 or more times a week, and or if you noticed that two or more components are missing from within the Aggregate Laser Parts list definition (score 4)
2. Do you
Sort your lasers by wave length (0)
Give pet names to your lasers (1)
Give your pets wave length names (2)
Give your children wave length names (3)
Had your name changed to a wave length (4)
3. How many lasers do you own?
None (0)
Three or less (1)
Six or less (2)
Twelve or more (3)
More than you can count (4)
4. How often during the past year have you found that you could not resist buying a laser?
Never (0)
Less than monthly (1)
Monthly (2)
Weekly (3)
You buy every damn new one you see (4)
5. How often during the past year have you worked all night and gone without sleep the next day in order to get the build you are working on put together and working just right?
Never (0)
Less than monthly (1)
Monthly (2)
Weekly (3)
You go days at a time without sleep working on a single laser build and the friggin thing still isn’t as perfect as you think it should be (4)
6. How often during the past year have you awoken in the middle of the night just to check the Buy Sell & Trade Section of the Forum for new posts or the check eBay or Craigslist for any new laser or laser paraphernalia listings?
Never (0)
Less than monthly (1)
Monthly (2)
Weekly (3)
Your alarm clock is set so that you won’t miss the automatic e-mail notifications from your saved searches’ as soon as they are sent out each night (4)
7. How often during the past year have you felt guilty or remorseful for not having bought the very last laser or laser part being offered before someone else beat you to it; or you have been remorseful for not having bought two of them just so you could have one for each hand?
Never (0)
Less than monthly (1)
Monthly (2)
Weekly (3)
Just two? What the hell! You buy all of them and then you hunt down anyone and everyone that may have every bought one before and you clean them out too (4)
8. How often during the past year have you have you received a laser in the mail and didn’t even remember that you had ordered it?
Never (0)
Less than Once (1)
Not equal to Twice (2)
More than Twice (3)
You just let the delivered packages & boxes stack up without even opening them (4)
9. You have opened at least one BS&T Thread where you
Successfully completed the sale of a laser (0)
Put a laser up for sale only to take it back down shortly thereafter because you just couldn't think of parting with it (1)
Put all of your lasers up for sale because you lost your job due to your laser hobby obsession (2)
Put your girlfriend up for sale (3)
Put your mother up for sale (4)
10. Has a relative, friend, doctor, or health care worker been concerned about your laser purchasing, or suggested that you cut down?
No (0)
Yes, in years past (1)
Yes, within the last year (2)
Yes, however you were able to regain a healthy balance between family time and your hobby (3)
You have your laser orders sent to your office, to a friend’s house or you rent space at FedEx or UPS so that your wife, parents, and probation officer won’t know how many and how often you are buying lasers (4)
Your score:
Normal - If you scored 0-19 you have a healthy outlook and reasonable approach to your laser hobby – you are also more likely to make regular donations to the forum and are concerned when the monthly goal is not met
Treatable - If you scored 20-29 you more than likely have a treatable form of a Laser Forum STD (Social Tendency Disorder) – you are less likely to make donations to the forum and do not worry if the donation goal is met or not
In Need of Immediate Intervention - If you scored 30 or higher you have progressed into a most virulent contagious stage where everyone with which you have been in contact will have to be tested to insure that you have not given them a Case of the CLAP (Coherent Light Addictive Preoccupation) as well.
Not only do you not make donations to the forum, you are most likely actively trying to hack into the donation thread in an attempt to divert the funds to your PayPal account.
Last edited:
