Lasers and Girlfriends

[InfinitusEquitas]

@InfinitusEquitas The Statistic i linked in this thread earlier, has the 30% and I got it from other sources as well... Just Because you Personally don't "Know" about it doesn't make the Study False. People who think alike tend to gravitate towards each-other and not talk about it to other people they know who are not like them. And I bet your friend who likes "Young" Girls wouldn't think twice about there "Real" age. Most men who are in that World don't seek it out per say they just want as Young as Possible and don't think twice about it when the time comes.


My 1st On Topic point : Why is it that "Most" Women don't like it or at the Least don't Understand "Why"? And the Ones who Do are Far and Few Between? I'm not asking because I would like to talk about them more, but as more of a Psychology Question?

Valid point. I just find the 30% statistic to be insane, and very very disturbing. I mean as I wrote before I don't have much of an issue with prostitution itself, but I do take issue with the exploitation, and exploitation of kids (IMO under 20 = kid) is beyond wrong.

With regards to the on topic part (about time! ) I think it's really a matter of conditioning. Women and men are equally capable in 99.99% of mentally challenging tasks. While there are some physiological differences they are not sufficient to account for the technical/nerd divide.

What bothers me though, is that while I might not enjoy it, or understand it, it really doesn't matter to me if a girl wants to collect 200 pairs of shoes (I mean honestly, who needs 10 inch heels?). It's not a negative. So how come so many male hobbies are a negative to women?

 

[Krogith]

You make a Very valid point. They don't get harassed by the male population on the things they collect. (more so that they harass each other about them ) I think they just see the lasers as a bunch of shoes/cloths they "Should Have" and Don't...

 

[JaiNobeZ]

Alright! Something i can utilise Evolutionary Psychology on!!

Disclaimer: The following is totally reductionistic and only really considers one approach for understanding issues such as this. Just the way i like it!

In our environment of evolutionary adaptation (or EEA) men will have been out hunting, and women will have stayed at home looking after children. Because of how any time any man can ejaculate into anything roughly female there is a chance that it will end up pregnant, thus baring his child, thus passing his genes on. The best part for the man? There's a big almost year-long gap in which the woman has no choice but to bear it and during that time he can run away, make himself scarce and not contribute to the upbringing of the child. He's won. Conversely, women don't benefit from short-term relationships or casual or careless sex. They're not going to do her any good as she's then having to drag around a big ol' lump in her womb for the next almost-year which is parasitically chewing away at her hard-gotten food and physically disabling her somewhat from conducting the activities she usually would. It is also very difficult for her to leave this baby in the arms of the father and jet off to repeat the process because she's not able to hand it to him until a lot later and by that time she's invested far more in its upbringing than he has, so if he ditches it and it dies she's lost far more than he has.
Parental investment theory. Trivers is a great man. :bowdown:

So this gives rise to an effect we can all observe all the time. Men will happily fuck anything, and women are picky about partners. Therefore, in the good old EEA, for the best part females would choose their male partners. Although the more attractive ("attractive" being "showing signs of youth, health, likelihood of successful childbearing, e.g. small features concentrated around the centre of the face, symmetrical-appearing facial features, smooth skin, long hair, large eyes, plump lips, curvey hips and large mammary glands") the woman, the more successful ("successful" being "showing signs of youth and health but also of status, power, successful ability to protect her and bring home the bacon, e.g. large abdominal and bicep muscles, testosterone features such as bushy eyebrows and a thick beard, or demonstrable ability to run fast, jump high, throw far, hit hard or perform high-functioning cognitive tasks).
So what do women mainly need to spend their time doing? Looking pretty and youthful. Thus they spend their time changing their hair or buying new clothes, handbags and shoes. And what do men need to spend their time doing? Well, for a start, killing stuff. Young boys will observably gravitate towards aggressive play from very young. Luckily, that's trained out of most of us. So what else can we do? Well... how about, practice our abilities at demonstrating that we're strong and powerful and can protect our women and bring home the bacon? Sports! But, then again, there are many of us (like me) who do not possess large biceps or abdominal muscles and who can't hit hard, run fast or throw far. So what can we do? Play to our strengths and demonstrate high-functioning cognitive ability by... guess what... building lasers!!

I enjoyed that essay.

The negativity women show towards it is a funny thing though. I'm guessing maybe that's because of how men will want to have sex with anything roughly female, women have to do what they can to quell this tendency. So i suppose as soon as a woman is in a relationship with a man she will try to destroy his love of such activities. Mehh... who knows?

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

So you think it's a variation on Freud's penis envy theory? Possible. Although I would be quite happy if a girl wanted to play with all my oblong objects, I don't mind sharing

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

So what do women mainly need to spend their time doing? Looking pretty and youthful. Thus they spend their time changing their hair or buying new clothes, handbags and shoes.

...men will want to have sex with anything roughly female, women have to do what they can to quell this tendency. So i suppose as soon as a woman is in a relationship with a man she will try to destroy his love of such activities. Mehh... who knows?

I edited out a bit, but didn't change wording, kind of killing your own point there

Based on your argument women should find lasers to be attractive. Trust me... with a few exceptions.. they don't

I've also had the experience of the eyes glazing over. I start talking about something in detail, and I can practically chart the interest level going down. Of course when I see that I usually order another round of drinks and switch topics.

 

[Krogith]

Yep, Basic human design works better with a 1 on 1 Life Partnership but that only works when both are "Working" Toward that Goal of building each other up and working together in making it work.

This would also mean you would of took time in learning about your prospective mate before marriage, but to many Men in the world Have sex with people they really Barely Know and then Lust Takes over and you tend to not focus on the real person they are and just what your getting out of it, and then you sink into a bad relationship where you guys are not matched well. This then in turn perpetuates the Problem and the idea that it can't work and that then adds to you looking for any excuse to leave and goto the proverbial greener Grass in turn perpetuates the problem further....

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

Yep, Basic human design works better with a 1 on 1 Life Partnership but that only works when both are "Working" Toward that Goal of building each other up and working together in making it work.

Actually nature works against us in this regard. While agree with you on this, the fact remains that we (men) are genetically predisposed to seek out as many potential sex partners as possible in order to propagate the species.

At the same time women are genetically predisposed to seek out the best potential mate to produce a healthy child... again to propagate the species.

What truly screws up the plan for men kind, is that we are aware enough to use contraception and couple for a reasons other than propagation... pleasure and fun. The pleasure and fun of sex is there to promote the creation of as many off spring as possible.

Monkeys masturbate and couple all the time also strictly for pleasure as do other species... but men (men and women) are the only ones who do so with the specific desire to not have an offspring.

Our evolutionary imperative is unfortunately at odds with our current situation.

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

in pink = attractive

Go on a date with the woman, show her your laser make it look like that, or like StridAsts one, with lots sparkles and diamonds mm.

LMAO!!! I'm ok with wearing a pink shirt, or whatever, but I think if I did what you suggest they girls would assume I'm gay. I know I'd never live it down from my friends if I pulled out large pink oblong object out of my pocket...

 

[HIMNL9]

.....
What bothers me though, is that while I might not enjoy it, or understand it, it really doesn't matter to me if a girl wants to collect 200 pairs of shoes (I mean honestly, who needs 10 inch heels?). It's not a negative. So how come so many male hobbies are a negative to women?

Cause, ofcourse, all the money you spend as male, for your hobby, is less money that remain on the credit card for "improve" the shoes collection, for the woman .....

(just kidding )


On a serious side, it's difficult to say .... hobbies are very personal things, you can find women that have so-called "male" hobbies (motors, hi-tech, building/DIY, modelers, and so on), same as you can find men that have so-called "female" hobbies (flowers, cooking, dressing, and so on) ..... but in this field, statistics count nothing, cause same as is difficult to find men that publicly admit to have "female" hobbies, same as is difficult to find women that publicly admit to have "male" hobbies, and both just cause they fear to be "discriminated" or laughed for that .....

Well, at least, lasers and laser interest is an "unisex" hobby, so please, girls, don't fear to declare your interests in them



EDIT: damn slow line refresh .....

in pink = attractive

Go on a date with the woman, show her your laser make it look like that, or like StridAsts one, with lots sparkles and diamonds mm.

It depend from your bank account, i suppose .....

..... if I pulled out large pink oblong object out of my pocket...

It depend from the object, i suppose ..... :eg: :crackup:

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

Impress the woman or be shamed by your friends? XD
Well, one thing you could do is to buy a cheap DX laser, engrave something pretty on it with gems and have a 405 in there, say it's for her. She'll like you haha ;p

Too much effort for a typical one night stand

Might be worth a shot for date 5+ if there was some kind of holiday or even to coincide.

Unfortunately I'm a bit of a clutz, so while I can do plenty of things with my hands, they usually don't come out looking too pretty.

 

[umss]

Too much effort for a typical one night stand

....., so while I can do plenty of things with my hands....

Sorry, I had to.

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

Sorry, I had to.

It was funny so you're forgiven.

 

[Krogith]

Your right it does Break down to Our Own Perspective on "How we are Here"

Even if you Believe we Evolved tho, I think we Can agree that the ""Ideal"" situation would be best for our Mental Wellbeing and Psychical Heath If we Had a life long partner that are working as a Team with us and the Man Respects the womans thoughts and Ideas and he showed her love and support and The Woman can have a deep respect for her loving husband and both are working together as a team, a True Friendship.

This World Focuses people to really just worry about them Selfs and that Really Makes the Above statement Very Hard to Accomplish. People are basically trained today to have a Lust for Each other not Really Knowing Each other and when it gets hard because of anything to Leave Etc.

Most people live together and really don't know Each other That well.
A: Do you know and Agree if you want to or Not have kids Ever?
B: Can You have a in Depth Conversation you both disagree about and not get Mad at Each other?
C: Are You Both Truly Committed to Each other?
D: Do You Fully Trust Each other?
E: Do you share the Same Life priorities? Your Relationship should be important to both of you, Do you allow your Job or other Family to become more important to you than your mate?
F: Do you Share the Same Concept of How to Treat and Use Money??
G: Do you Think "Oh thats Annoying but I'll Change that about them" (More a Woman issue than a Man)
H: Can you Talk about issue G: and Not Get Mad at each other?
I: When you Argue do you Degrade your Partner or are you up-building?
J: Are you Trying to Stay Attracted to your Mate or do you or they "Look" at Other People??
K: BIG ONE "Is Your Partner Your Best Friend?
L: Do you Guys Like or at least Except the Same Type of Pets or are willing to not let it bother you??
M: Do you Except each others Hobbies??
N: Do You Know & Except Each Others Spirituality? And How you would raise Your Kids (If your having them)

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

Your right it does Break down to Our Own Perspective on "How we are Here"

Even if you Believe we Evolved tho, I think we Can agree that the ""Ideal"" situation would be best for our Mental Wellbeing and Psychical Heath If we Had a life long partner that are working as a Team with us and the Man Respects the womans thoughts and Ideas and he showed her love and support and The Woman can have a deep respect for her loving husband and both are working together as a team, a True Friendship.

This World Focuses people to really just worry about them Selfs and that Really Makes the Above statement Very Hard to Accomplish. People are basically trained today to have a Lust for Each other not Really Knowing Each other and when it gets hard because of anything to Leave Etc.

Most people live together and really don't know Each other That well.
A: Do you know and Agree if you want to or Not have kids Ever?
B: Can You have a in Depth Conversation you both disagree about and not get Mad at Each other?
C: Are You Both Truly Committed to Each other?
D: Do You Fully Trust Each other?
E: Do you share the Same Life priorities? Your Relationship should be important to both of you, Do you allow your Job or other Family to become more important to you than your mate?
F: Do you Share the Same Concept of How to Treat and Use Money??
G: Do you Think "Oh thats Annoying but I'll Change that about them" (More a Woman issue than a Man)
H: Can you Talk about issue G: and Not Get Mad at each other?
I: When you Argue do you Degrade your Partner or are you up-building?
J: Are you Trying to Stay Attracted to your Mate or do you or they "Look" at Other People??
K: BIG ONE "Is Your Partner Your Best Friend?
L: Do you Guys Like or at least Except the Same Type of Pets or are willing to not let it bother you??
M: Do you Except each others Hobbies??
N: Do You Know & Except Each Others Spirituality? And How you would raise Your Kids (If your having them)

Well that's the problem. I complete agree that everything you listed is very important and if taken into consideration it would help a relationship.

Going over that list made me think of a friend who uses the website OkCupid. On there you can answer a ton of user create questions and list what you would want to your partner to answer, and how important that question/answer is to you.

Good idea. Problem is people don't know wtf they want. Also they lie and they hide or don't answer questions they don't want to if they think the answer shows anything negative.

Out of curiosity on a caffeine fueled night of insomnia I went through over 1000 questions and 50+ tests.... honestly. End result Tons of 70-90% matches very few over 90%.

Problem is most people don't don't even look at matches that are under 80%. Which I think is ridiculous. Than there is the other problem.... without even looking at the qualitative results most matches are discarded automatically because of looks. I've seen this time and again... unemployed guy with no prospects gets messages all the time, another guy with good job, good prospects etc... no messages.

Big BIG problem is we place so much emphasis on instant attraction and instant gratification, instead of looking at things long term. Unfortunately I'm as guilty of this as anyone


Edit: Pretty much the first advice given by sex therapists to couples who don't find each other attractive anymore is turn off the lights. With constant information flow we have basically prioritizes the sense of sight over everything else, and this produces problems because the idea of beauty is to a degree very flexible and changes over time. Over the past 40 or so years the ideal image has shifted drastically for both men and women and as a result most men and women find themselves left out. No idea how this can be fixed though

 

[JaiNobeZ]

(I'm doing a total Devil's Advocate here, but it's fun)

No Krogith. You're going to so violently disagree. But no. An ideal scenario is one in which everyone is accepting of contraception and all relationships are open and sex is an activity purely for fun, not an activity binding a couple.

Relationships would then need to be formed on something meaningful rather than lust. There would be no jealousy at physical infidelity and everyone would be far more carefree. People would then come off the contraception when attempting to have a child, and during that time they would only engage in sex with their partner. Once pregnant, once more it wouldn't matter (until they were so heavily pregnant that they couldn't manage it).

Why don't we do it? The idea makes people gag.

 

[JaiNobeZ]

I edited out a bit, but didn't change wording, kind of killing your own point there

Based on your argument women should find lasers to be attractive. Trust me... with a few exceptions.. they don't

I've also had the experience of the eyes glazing over. I start talking about something in detail, and I can practically chart the interest level going down. Of course when I see that I usually order another round of drinks and switch topics.

...Hmmm... yeah, that did occur to me. My guess would be that women (while possessing the ability to) don't want to waste the potential for the higher cognitive ability on something which does not serve a direct functional purpose.