Welcome to Laser Pointer Forums - discuss green laser pointers, blue laser pointers, and all types of lasers

LPF Donation via Stripe | LPF Donation - Other Methods

Links below open in new window

ArcticMyst Security by Avery

How To Get Along With and Be Accepted By People

Joined
Apr 18, 2013
Messages
71
Points
0
Hi Everyone,

Not sure where the best place to put this thread is - please feel free to move it if there is a better place. If anybody has any comments / suggestions please feel free. While I am a new member on this forum; I wanted to outline a couple of basics to everybody (both old and new members). These basic elements can often be over-run by a new members ignorance, or by a veterans long-exposure to that very ignorance. Don't get me wrong; I'm not looking to point the finger at anyone, or to make any negative statements about the forum or its members as a whole. In fact; I have received so much help from members on here I'm already hooked on this community.

First
We are all human beings. Being an international forum - we all come from completely different cultural/economic/academic backgrounds. This poses the very difficult task of crossing those borders (in conversation) without offending or otherwise upsetting a healthy balance. To some it comes as a big surprise; not everybody thinks the same way - as our presuppositions have been programmed from a young age by our very real and very different surroundings. The very basic and fundamental core of our thinking differs greatly. LaserPointerForums is therefore an amazing example of cohesion among such vast and different groups of people. This unity however does come at a cost - which brings me to my second point.

Second
Regardless of our:
  • Academic training.
  • Cultural background.
  • Financial support.
  • Experience with lasers.
  • Experience with online forums.
  • Experience with respect.
We need to remember - every member is a person. We can all be discouraged or encouraged by other members. We all have the opportunity to teach or learn from other members. There is therefore a list of common courtesies that should be followed.
  1. We must not assume anything about another member, or a member's life, family, education, finance, etc.
  2. As a noob; we should recognise veterans and approach them cautiously and respectfully. As a veteran, we should respond to noobs graciously and kindly, without belittling them.
  3. While many are here to learn, and many are here to teach - not everybody is in this boat. We should not expect any member to write a thesis paper explaining something that can be Google'd.
  4. Whenever we learn from others; we should do so with an open mind, like a sponge - ready to absorb and digest the information that is being presented. We should critically analyse this information with our own logic and memory units.
  5. Whenever we teach others; we should do so with a high level of integrity (our information must be accurate, and not biased or swayed by emotion). We should do so without insulting, belittling or discouraging a student. We should scan our teaching for errors, and be ready to retract anything if a new development is made.
  6. Do not insult or belittle another member, regardless of who you think you are, or who you think they are. While this can be difficult due to some unforseen barriers - one easy way is to avoid statements with the subject being "You". For example, as soon as you make a direct reference to another member, be careful what you say. Is it really necessary? Is it helpful to the situation? Will it advance our learning or grow our bond as a community? It's one thing to say "I see what you're saying, but have you considered this?" - It's another thing to say "You are wrong, because of this!"

For Veterans
While I can wholeheartedly understand the frustration of seeing the same questions and complaints over-and-over again (probably on a daily basis); if this sort of question bothers you - don't respond. If you can't respond while holding firmly onto the above values - it's better to stay quiet. Let somebody else more humble speak on behalf of the vets. If you do want to put a noob in his/her place, do so graciously, remembering that you too were once a noob. Remember these very noobs will one day overtake you in your knowledge and experience, and will have the new technologies to play with that you only dream of. Treat them with the same common courtesy and respect you would treat your contemporary. If you put them down, you are actively damaging this forum - and the noob's respect for you and it.

For Noobs
While I can wholeheartedly understand the desire of a noob to learn and get all the information quickly and accurately - don't expect others to hand feed you this information. You have not paid a fee to be here - this is not a college. If you are on this forum then it's safe to say you have access to Google - and you can search this vast forum for the question to see if it has been previously asked. Get online and do some research. You can ask here at the same time - and you may or may not be answered. If you ever want to object to what a vet is saying - do so carefully and without saying "you are wrong". Remember, the vets have seen people like you come and go for a long time - and while they hold much more knowledge and experience as you - they have probably had the same conversation many times, and tested the same theory many times.


Summary
While this forum is a brilliant example of people getting along well; there is always room for a reminder, for growth. By treating others with the same respect as you would a real person - we can all maintain and uphold the good standards here. While specific situations can be complicated; the blanket-ideology is simple. Respect others more than yourself - and you will go a long way without upsetting.
 
Last edited:





daguin

0
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
15,989
Points
113
LOL! You've been here one whole month, yet you know how we should all act

You have the right to say what you believe

Conversely, I have the right to tell you that your opinion isn't worth the time it took for you to type it

If something bothers me, I have the right to say so
I have the right to be abrasive
I have the right to even be mean sometimes

If you want to be a conflict counselor, get a degree and hang out a shingle
The culture here may not be what you would like, but it is already here and it has proven successful for many years

Before you choose to judge the forum and/or the members here, walk a mile in it's shoes
You haven't been here long enough to get your own shoes untied, let alone understand how ours fit

Peace,
dave

**EDIT** -- There are already seven(7) stickies dealing with how this forum works. Did you bother reading them or do you simply disagree with how the forum works?

 
Last edited:
Joined
Apr 18, 2013
Messages
71
Points
0
LOL! You've been here one whole month, yet you know how we should all act

You have the right to say what you believe

Conversely, I have the right to tell you that your opinion isn't worth the time it took for you to type it

If something bothers me, I have the right to say so
I have the right to be abrasive
I have the right to even be mean sometimes

If you want to be a conflict counselor, get a degree and hang out a shingle
The culture here may not be what you would like, but it is already here and it has proven successful for many years

Before you choose to judge the forum and/or the members here, walk a mile in it's shoes
You haven't been here long enough to get your own shoes untied, let alone understand how ours fit

Peace,
dave

**EDIT** -- There are already seven(7) stickies dealing with how this forum works. Did you bother reading them or do you simply disagree with how the forum works?

Hi Daguin,

Thanks for your helpful and constructive criticism. It's really great to see such a positive attitude from a long term and upstanding member. I find it both encouraging, and helpful when thinking about my future in this hobby. I remember our last encounter when you promptly responded to my sincere & non-insulting curiosity post - with accusations and name calling, assumptive comments about my parents, insults towards my intelligence and my ability to read, etc. You then followed up by revealing your motive saying "I can't make him believe me." I'm sorry but I failed to see much actual writing relevant to the theory & technology of lasers (or my actual question) - it was all just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo about what you thought of me and what you thought I failed to do. It wasn't you I was accusing, nor was it you I was choosing to believe or not believe. I was focusing on the facts and information relevant to my query (which your post contained none of).

I appreciate your humility in not yelling or insulting me directly this time. You are correct, our opinions are simply that; opinions. Your opinion has been dually noted. I understand you disagree with the content of my post, I'm sorry you feel that way. :bowdown:

PS - Yes I was one of the very few that read the stickys. Thanks for your hard work Daguin.

You've been here a month so I'm not sure if you can fully understand how the forum works yet :p

Also, there is quite a few threads like this including the one that Dave made very recently:
http://laserpointerforums.com/f37/how-get-along-accepted-lpf-82184.html

Gun; yeah you're right mate. I shouldn't take any position of authority yet. I guess it's not a sticky or anything, I've just got it in my signature for any other noobs I converse with. I'm new here and I've still got a lot to learn. I hope my post hasn't offended or upset anyone here - it was meant with only good intention; and I believe I've worded it without any negative comment towards the forum or any of its members. If there is any problem with this thread; please feel free to let me know. I'm happy to lend an ear and move forward with a solution to any problem I may have caused. Otherwise; I think its clear that it won't be taken seriously - since I'm a new member (which is fair) anyway. I wouldn't expect any more or less. :beer:
 
Last edited:

Gun

0
Joined
Apr 11, 2013
Messages
891
Points
0
No it's fine, it's actually a very helpful thread, good job :)
 

DJNY

0
Joined
Nov 2, 2009
Messages
5,991
Points
83
This is the right thread for some penis jokes yeah?

Honestly Belch85, your intentions are good. But there a quite a few big stories behind the forum & people you don´t understand. All happened long before your username was born here. I don´t like it when greenhorns show off in front of me telling what´s going on.

If your had read around the forum before, you would have seen the thread already created by the long-time and well-respected Mr. Daguin.
This is a 99,9% male-forum, so it´s not always easy to come along with others. But that´s fine.
 

Things

0
Joined
May 1, 2007
Messages
7,517
Points
0
How to get along with all people in general: Shut the f:)ck up and deal with it. Works great both IRL and the internet I've found :D
 
Joined
Mar 27, 2011
Messages
14,125
Points
113
I remember our last encounter when you promptly responded to my sincere & non-insulting curiosity post - with accusations and name calling, assumptive comments about my parents, insults towards my intelligence and my ability to read, etc. You then followed up by revealing your motive saying "I can't make him believe me." I'm sorry but I failed to see much actual writing relevant to the theory & technology of lasers (or my actual question) - it was all just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo about what you thought of me and what you thought I failed to do. It wasn't you I was accusing, nor was it you I was choosing to believe or not believe. I was focusing on the facts and information relevant to my query (which your post contained none of).

Would you mind posting a link of this encounter?

I checked through the threads you started, but not all of your posts.

I shouldn't take any position of authority yet.

:wtf: That's a mildly presumptive statement there.
 
Joined
Jun 7, 2012
Messages
1,683
Points
63
With all these threads popping up it's like where's trying to make the forum idiot proof, when the reality is we want to keep the idiots out.
 

daguin

0
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
15,989
Points
113
Would you mind posting a link of this encounter?

I checked through the threads you started, but not all of your posts.



:wtf: That's a mildly presumptive statement there.

It all began in the dim reaches of our collective human memory

Or maybe it was somewhere around HERE

Peace,
dave
 
Joined
Mar 27, 2011
Messages
14,125
Points
113
It all began in the dim reaches of our collective human memory

Or maybe it was somewhere around HERE

Peace,
dave

Ahh! Now I see. I never subscribed to that thread. Should have though, seems to have gotten more fun since I last read it.

Yes. Like George Carlin put it "The kid who swallows too many marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own".

Damn I miss Carlin.

Yup, me too. That man was a genius. I really regret never having caught one of this acts live.

I did at one point download every single one of his performances though. He rehashes the same content a bit, but still... always great.

Check out Louis CK. Not on the same level, but also quite funny.
 
Joined
Feb 18, 2013
Messages
744
Points
28
Yeah, I like Louis CK too. He has the same I don't care what you think additude.
 
Joined
Sep 20, 2008
Messages
17,622
Points
113
For Veterans
While I can wholeheartedly understand the frustration of seeing the same questions and complaints over-and-over again (probably on a daily basis); if this sort of question bothers you - don't respond. If you can't respond while holding firmly onto the above values - it's better to stay quiet. Let somebody else more humble speak on behalf of the vets. If you do want to put a noob in his/her place, do so graciously, remembering that you too were once a noob. Remember these very noobs will one day overtake you in your knowledge and experience, and will have the new technologies to play with that you only dream of. Treat them with the same common courtesy and respect you would treat your contemporary. If you put them down, you are actively damaging this forum - and the noob's respect for you and it.

Hmmmm.......

I'm sure you meant well by your Thread and it has some good
points that I've read many times before...

But are you with only 64 posts under your belt really trying to
direct the Veterans on how to post and act....:thinking:

That is a good way of attracting negativity towards yourself...

Perhaps it would be to your best interest to sit back and see
how this Forum has matured since it was first started. Then
when you become a veteran you could suggest some ideas
to the veterans...

Some of us "veterans" are not children needing guidance....:beer:

That's my $0.02...


Jerry
 
Last edited:
Joined
Apr 2, 2009
Messages
10,662
Points
113
^^^ what he said...

this thread is ripe for a classic derailment--

anybody new going to make SELEM?

hows the weather there??

heard any good jokes lately??
 
Last edited:




Top