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FrozenGate by Avery

Jokes thread!






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I keep a picture of my missus in my wallet.
It reminds me why there is no fuc*&!ng money in there.
 
I wasn't planning on going for a run today

But I swear those cops came out of nowhere!

Peace,
dave
 
What do you call this::shhh:half nelson:whistle:

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OK then what do you call this::shhh:Full nelson:whistle:

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OK what then do you call this::whistle:

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Father Nelson

Ok I know bad jander bad jander:thanks:
 
A blonde is about to board a train, when she sees a brunette on the other tracks jumping up and down, yelling "21,21,21". The blond comes over and asks her what she's doing and she replies "I'm playing a game". The blond says "That looks like fun", so she joins her. A few minutes later a train comes speeding down the track and the brunette steps off the tracks while the blonde gets plowed by the train. After it leaves, the brunette gets back on the tracks a jumps up and down, yelling "22,22,22".
 
Two cajun brothers who lives on the bayou, named Bocefus and Mocefus. One day Mocefus comes by his brothers house in his boat and is wearing crocodile boots. Bocefus asks his brother "Why you wearin' 'dos crocodile boots"? Mocefus say "I'm gonna catch me a crocodile, you wanna come wit' me?" Bocefus says "Nah, just gonna set here, in my rocker, drinkin' sweet tea." A few hours later, Mocefus comes by with a croc in his boat and Bocefus says, "Well, I'll be danged." Mocefus says "See, I told ya."
Next day, Mocefus comes by Bocefus' house in his boat, and his brother says "What 'cha got there, Mocefus?" Mocefus says "A bass(as in fish) guitar." Mocefus says, "That's a bass(as in base) guitar. " Mocefus says "ok, whatever." Bocefus asks "What 'cha gonna do with that?" Mocefus says "Catch bass with it, you wanna come wit' me?". Bocefus says" Nah, just gonna sit here on my rocker, drinkin' sweet tea." A few hours later, Mocefus comes by in his boat with it full of bass fish. Bocefus says "Well I'll be danged." Mocefus say "See, I told ya so, see ya tomorrow."
Next day Mocefus comes by his brothers house in his boat. Bocefus say "What 'cha got there?".Mocefus says "P/**ywillows" Bocefus says "Hang on while I get my hat."
 
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