Chuck Norris jokes :D

[photonaholic]

When Chuck Norris smokes, the cigarette gets cancer.

Nordic Track had to stop using Chuck in the commercial because he kept breaking them.

 

[Eudaimonium]

Photo, I don't get the last one...

Chuck Norris can cool a 400W diode bar with one blow down to -10 °C. Forever.

 

[photonaholic]

about 10-12 years ago, Chuck was a spokesperson for Nordic Track exercise machines, he was on TV all the time selling them.

 

[Eudaimonium]

Hhaha, he kept breaking them :crackup:
Got it :beer:

 

[photonaholic]

out on the farm horses brag about being "hung like Chuck"

 

[lazerov]

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris does not predict the future. The future just does what Chuck Norris says.

When Chuck Norris enters a dark room, he does not turn on the lights. He turns off the dark, instead.

Chuck Norris does not walk. Chuck Norris forces the Earth to move under him. Never make him run!

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is -CN. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

 

[Eudaimonium]

Chuck Norris does not have a d'ck like horses.
Horses have d'cks like Chuck Norris

 

[Lacrosse]

i remember oldscool world of warcraft "the Barrens" always with the chuck Norris jokes

 

[KiLLrB]

Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike Bar.

 

[Elektrotechniker]

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is -CN. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

Nice one

 

[Fieras]

The National Ignition Facility in Livermore, CA has three directives:
-To research inertial confinment fusion as a sustainable energy source
-To maintain the saftey and reliability of the nations nuclear arsenal without full scale testing,
-And to simulate the conditions Chuck Norris creates at the point of impact while roundhouse kicking, only on a smaller scale for practical study.

There are several ways to combine laser beams: polarizing beamsplitting cubes mixing a vertically and horizontally polarized beam, dichroics joining beams of different wavelength, knife edge mirror arrangements stacking beams next to each other, fiber optics bending the beams path and placing them side by side, and Chuck Norris. The photons will huddle together for saftey when he is nearby.

Chuck Norris' shower is a 1.3KW CO2 laser with a diffraction grating made from discarded beard hairs.

All light diverges, unless Chuck Norris tells it not to.

 

[KiLLrB]

Chuck Norris just called me and asked why this thred is called Chuck Norris "Jokes" after the conversation I think it is in everyones best interest to change it to Chuck Norris Facts.:scared:

 

[Eudaimonium]

The National Ignition Facility in Livermore, CA has three directives:
-To research inertial confinment fusion as a sustainable energy source
-To maintain the saftey and reliability of the nations nuclear arsenal without full scale testing,
-And to simulate the conditions Chuck Norris creates at the point of impact while roundhouse kicking, only on a smaller scale for practical study.

There are several ways to combine laser beams: polarizing beamsplitting cubes mixing a vertically and horizontally polarized beam, dichroics joining beams of different wavelength, knife edge mirror arrangements stacking beams next to each other, fiber optics bending the beams path and placing them side by side, and Chuck Norris. The photons will huddle together for saftey when he is nearby.

Chuck Norris' shower is a 1.3KW CO2 laser with a diffraction grating made from discarded beard hairs.

All light diverges, unless Chuck Norris tells it not to.

Hahaha nice :crackup:

Chuck Norris just called me and asked why this thred is called Chuck Norris "Jokes" after the conversation I think it is in everyones best interest to change it to Chuck Norris Facts.:scared:

If you would get a call from Chuck Norris, you would not be around to post it afterwards.
He can point a 1.3 kW CO2 laser through the phone, and sometimes the screen of a computer. It has not been theg first time someone found a pile of ash next to a phone or a computer.

A black hole pulls everything including light into itself. Chuck Norris does exactly the opposite!

 

[Fieras]

Chuck Norris knows all the ways a person can die. This served him well when he was performing autopsies as the chief medical examiner of New York. In the 1920s

 

[daguin]

Peace.
dave

 

[Eudaimonium]

Peace.
dave

It is not as badass as I expected it to be, but hell it is funny

Chuck Norris can create a lightsaber out of simple laser by roundhouse kicking a beam at about 1m from aperture. When the rest of photons see what happened at that 1m, they won't dare to travel further