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FrozenGate by Avery

Jokes thread!

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Thanks. My mind will now be screwed whenever someone says lick a 9v battery to see if it is good.
 
Two blondes were walking through the woods hunting when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said to the second blonde ssshhh, those are bear tracks. The second blonde laughed and in a condescending tone said I can tell you are a novice hunter, those are deer tracks! the first blonde fired back bear tracks! The second blonde deer tracks! bear tracks! deer tracks! bear tracks!

This argument only lasted a minute because they were both run over by a train!
 
When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets at my local Cabellas, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." So, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, Security tells me that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer. I still do not think I looked that bad.
 
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