Im a loser baby

[zazman69]

So why don't you kill me....

So apparently watching cartoons and "playing" with lasers makes me a loser. Being interested in advanced technology and refusing to submit to the misery of growing older has somehow placed me in that category. I don't think its fair to judge anyone for anything, its no ones place. Being told to grow up every time I bust out my lasers is becoming extremely disheartening. I've been on my own since I was 16 (about 9 years now) and I've always had a roof over my head and ill almost never miss a day of work. Watching cartoons and tinkering with my "toys" has never come between my responsibility and me. My father in law is constantly telling me to quit "playing with your stupid little lights and grow up" I'm almost too ashamed to take them out anymore. I've always provided for myself and my woman and I know I'm not a loser, but I finally find a hobby that I love and all they do is embarass me. I just lost my best and only friend in the world, my little brother Joe. So I've been turning to lpf for conversation and fellowship. Which of course brings on more ridicule from the old man, and to a much lesser extent, my soon to be wife. She's always been supportive, just not very understanding. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you Lpf for giving me a place to fit in. Thank you especially to Danefex and 9ring, you two are the closest ill get to having any real friends for a long time. Long live Lpf! Sorry if this comes across as butt-hurt its mostly a catharsis for myself. I love lasers and I love life and only my body ever gets older. :beer:

- D.

Listen, anybody who is telling you to get older is just jealous of how you manage to keep your mind so young! you should feel lucky that they are too jealous of you to even admit it. Anybody who can be entertained by a subject as complex and highly technical as lasers is bound to keep a young and healthy mind with them until the day they die. NEVER be embarrassed to pursue a hobby you love. My friends tell me all the time "enough with the lasers" and "You're addicted!" but i don't care because i'm having fun. Anybody who stops being your friend JUST because they don't like the same hobbies as you was never your friend in the first place. Don't worry, you have plenty of supporters at lpf!

 

[Kartracer00]

Gotta love the love around here. This is great advise for anyone going through roughly the same, if not the same, situation. I love all you guys here <3
A real down-to-earth place to be.
Thanks LPF members!

 

[dmacrae]

I'm glad this wasn't perceived as whiny butt-hurt. :beer:

 

[Kartracer00]

Naw man. This is something almost everyone here can relate to
Im really glad you expressed this issue so we could talk about it.
Its another one of those interesting subjects.
+1 to you Dmac

 

[Flaminpyro]

Wow I feel sorry for your new father in law to be as he has already drew a line in the sand and he probably doesn't even know you very well, he doesn't sound very
understanding and it would seem maybe his daughter has a tiny bit of his attitude also, it's bound to happen as we are all a product of our environment.

I think she will change once you two tie the knot and she will be easy to live with since she now dose support you, it takes time to get really used to each other.

I would not worry too much about what others think of you as you seem to have both feet on the ground and know what you want and that is 1/2 the battle to begin with

Just take his prodding with a grain of salt and hopefully he will mellow out with time.

We all grow up at our own rates and we stop growing where we want to be so don't let any one tell you you act immature if you like the way you are stay that way and you will be a much happier person for it

Sorry to hear about your brother I know what that is like I had to bury my younger brother about 8 years ago.

Good luck and have a Happy New Year :beer:

Cartoons are not only for children, any thing that can make a human being laugh is a positive thing and should never be shunned for any reason !

I personally think the best thing any one can do in life it to put a smile on some ones face

And if you have the time watch this is about a man who dedicated his life to doing just that, Caution watching this will bring back fond memories

 

[lasersbee]

Man.... get the He!! out of there ASAP...
They are "harshing your mellow"

In life you put a roof over your head. You pay
your own bills. You show respect to other like
you expect from them and you do what makes
you happy with out harming others.

My brother has a saying about life..

Life's a bitch...
Then you marry one...
Then you die..:eg:

In the mean time try to enjoy it....:beer:


Jerry
(533 - 13900)
You can contact us at any time through our Website: J.BAUER Electronics

 

[dmacrae]

^^^ thanks Jeff, ill always fulfill my responsibilities as a man but I refuse to submit to a bland, monotonous life. My woman just gets jealous sometimes because my friends ARE so far away I spend a lot of time talking to my buds here. She's a good girl though

And jerry, my old man had a Harley with the tasmanian devil airbrushed on the gas tank and no one EVER called my pops a loser for liking looney tunes... ill be home soon.

 

[Lolvo]

So why don't you kill me....

So apparently watching cartoons and "playing" with lasers makes me a loser. Being interested in advanced technology and refusing to submit to the misery of growing older has somehow placed me in that category. I don't think its fair to judge anyone for anything, its no ones place. Being told to grow up every time I bust out my lasers is becoming extremely disheartening. I've been on my own since I was 16 (about 9 years now) and I've always had a roof over my head and ill almost never miss a day of work. Watching cartoons and tinkering with my "toys" has never come between my responsibility and me. My father in law is constantly telling me to quit "playing with your stupid little lights and grow up" I'm almost too ashamed to take them out anymore. I've always provided for myself and my woman and I know I'm not a loser, but I finally find a hobby that I love and all they do is embarass me. I just lost my best and only friend in the world, my little brother Joe. So I've been turning to lpf for conversation and fellowship. Which of course brings on more ridicule from the old man, and to a much lesser extent, my soon to be wife. She's always been supportive, just not very understanding. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you Lpf for giving me a place to fit in. Thank you especially to Danefex and 9ring, you two are the closest ill get to having any real friends for a long time. Long live Lpf! Sorry if this comes across as butt-hurt its mostly a catharsis for myself. I love lasers and I love life and only my body ever gets older. :beer:

- D.

D,

Read your post earlier today at work; didn't have a chance to reply thoroughly. I am having trouble finding the right words for this one, but hear me out:



What dictates a "loser?" - your father-in-law's opinion? No sir. A man lives his life, to each his own; you are right, who is he to judge? From what you have relayed to me, it seems that your father-in-law is simply old-fashioned. He is a strong believer in hard work, but only in the physical realm. He believes that a man, whether he wants to or not, should abandon childish dreams and ways to face reality. In a sense, he is right, D.

It's a difficult thing to master. Being honest with myself, I have looked upon others this way, and I am surely not proud of it...What I have done in my life, lived how I've lived, studied what I've studied, led me to an arrogant path. I looked at certain people as if they were childish and disgraceful - not something I am proud of - and only because I was smarter in my realms and more successful in my social aptitude, not taking into account or respecting the paths of others', whether they be relatable or not.

If you were the type of man to focus only on his cartoons and lasers, and be worthless to the nurturing of a family and your woman, then yes, I would agree with him. But no sir, you take do what needs to be done, you take care of your woman, and you ARE successful. So then, what is there to be disheartened over? Nothing. It is a hobby, it is yours, and yours alone; your wife's, and your family's, if they wish to share in your enthusiasm. From an outsider's point of view, it seems that your father-in-law has never been impressed with you or what you are interested in - do not take this the wrong way from me, again I know nothing of the semantics - then why give credit to his demeaning words? A man will recognize his intentions, and temper his actions accordingly. You sir are the better man; while you would like to I know, you do not have to impress him - you two simply have different interests, and that needs to be made clear. You cannot live under his offensive words and be subject to his rash opinions. You are smart, you are strong, you know who you are.

You need to make clear to him what you are interested in and what your hobbies are, and that whether he comprehends the interest and technology behind it or not, he needs to grow a pair and learn some respect. I use this terminology purposefully - a point must be made to him that while you do care what he thinks, it will not effect you and will only cause him distress until he learns to respect you, and understand the phrase "different strokes for different folks." Convey to him that he knows much more than you about a variety of topics, and that you had no idea how intricate some of his interests are - and that yours are the same. Make it known that you are a smart man and that perhaps a generation gap is the reason for the misunderstanding; doing this in a respectable manner might open him up to realizing that there is more to you, your hobbies, and your knowledge than meets the eye. Do this in a respectful, secure, and assertive manner, and I can promise you that things will change for you.

Live your life as you are, what you want to do, do not regret anything. There is a child inside all of us. I suffer from the terrible privilege of seeming and feeling much older than I actually am, and I thank my woman for bringing a new light to my outlook. She is still such a kid in her own mind: playful, carefree, enjoyable - and yet responsible, mature, determined. She has shown me that regardless of your age, what you do, or what you're expected to be, living for others' happiness, your own happiness, and the fulfillment of life is all there is to being successful. She is 2 years older than I am (she is 21, I am 19) and yet her mind is so kid-like and enjoyable, it is rejuvenating. While I feel and act much older than I am, and relate more to people in their late-20's, she still lives out the kid in her, and she is so happy doing it - a good reason why she is a Teacher in Early Childhood Education, loves it and is fantastic at it. I relate my own life for this reason: regardless of other people's outlook on you, live YOU for YOU. Your hobbies, interests, and work may be drastically different, but that, in my opinion, is the best there can be. Diversity! That's what it's all about. I fly aircrafts, I love lasers, cars and the automotive industry are my passion, I know everything there is about an Xbox and gaming, I am a former website administrator, I ride motorcycles, I founded a fraternity chapter, and I have strong family values. Just to name a few! Diversity my friend - do what you want and share your passion with others. She does not understand my fascination with lasers and cannot imagine why I would pay $250 for a laser - but she does not hassle me with it and knows it is just because I am a kid at heart and love awesome things! While I can never see her interested in it, I know she will always appreciate my love for lasers as one of the small things I enjoy. Just as I do not hassle her with the fact that she plays Neopets and Pokemon at the age of 21! She is a kid at heart and I love it - I suppose what I am saying is this: be forthcoming and straightforward with who you are, in any relationship, I know that the small things are appreciated for their worth. And I know that if treated correctly, my lady will get into lasers in no time, and I will be playing Neopets with her soon enough.

Life is too short friend, while everyone appreciates a friend-base online, there is nothing quite like living your life to the fullest, and letting those who bring you down the most know that their words do nothing but influence you to be happier than they are.

I think I have typed a lot here, I hope you take the time to truly read it and hear the sincerity I have to share with you, D. Also, sorry to hear about your brother. I cannot imagine what that is like; while nowhere close to it, I lost a member of my brotherhood today at the age of 19. An identical twin and someone I've known for years; heartbreaking all the same.

Good luck, D, and if you need anything else, let me know. Can't wait to get to know you better.

~Joseph

 

[9Ring]

Don't let your future in laws sour you. His lack of imagination makes him the loser.

Remember no one can make you feel like a loser. You know who you are. When you look in the mirror i'm sure you don't see a loser. ( cause your not a loser)

Having an imagination and getting into a science based hobby is cool. Look at all the lasers guys/gals on here.

looking forward to seeing you down in the Sunshine State.

Honored to be your friend.


I have no ego to bruise......so i really don't care what my family thinks. (cept for my wife) I do what i want, and i live a good moral life.

You'll be gone in a month right?? but i do understand the need to have your wifes father/mother acceptance. You can only be you.

 

[dmacrae]

I'm blown away, you guys are awesome, Joseph believe it I took the time to read that, Al, you've always been my bud. And BTW everyone else in her family loves me. Seeing me light a cigarette with a laser is the coolest thing they've ever seen. The old man is past his prime and he's just bitter and resentful. I played football and wrestled in high school and on more than one occasion I've held my own in a fist fight, what can I say I'm a good ol boy. All he ever had in life was brute strength and that's gone and I feel he is somewhat intimidated and jealous that someone younger and stronger than him now has the full attention of his first daughter. I guess he sees my interest in lasers as a weakness. Back in his day technology was for the nerds and he'd rather stuff people in lockers and smoke behind the bleachers. I was always taught to stick up for people because the "nerds" will one day be my boss, and the girl you used to pick on will grow up to be smoking hot. I've enjoyed taking out bullies, they cry the hardest when you've broken their nose. Only problem is I can't just fly off and attack my father-in-law, ill hurt him and I'm not stooping down to those levels. Plus my woman might be a tad upset with me. I don't need his approval but I'm swimming upstream with this guy and its mentally taxing. You guys all rock, ill never again be ashamed of what I like because its an extension of my personality and I'm happy being me. Plus ill be in Florida soon and not far from fellow laserists. thanks everyone, I hope that maybe someone else that has a similar problem gets some comfort reading everything you guys have written here. :beer: :beer: :beer:

- D.

 

[Bill King]

My father in law used to say the same about me.
“Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter,
and those who matter don't mind.”
― Dr. Seuss

 

[Bionic-Badger]

Sounds like that old man is just projecting his own insecurities on someone younger. I'm also guessing that the rest of the family isn't all that pleased with the douchebag either, but just haven't come out and said it. He's just one of those "tolerated family members."

As for you, if he tries to get inside your head, just outright ignore him. If he persists, just raise your eyebrows, chuckle a little, and reply, "whatever, old man" and continue on. Don't get defensive, but ensure that he knows that his opinion matters zero. He'll probably blow up or start grumbling, but again, whatever. If he starts a tirade, inform him that you enjoy what you enjoy, and that he's wasting his time (and yours), because he's the last person whose opinion matters to you.

And you shouldn't care what he thinks.

People like your father-in-law are the type of cancers you need to excise from your life. If your wife wants to maintain connections to her father, so be it, but don't waste even a thought on that source of stress; he's not worth it. If there is some sort of "falling out" with your father-in-law, consider it blessing. He can die disconnected from the family he alienated himself. No skin off your back.

In the end, always remember that the best "revenge" is to live well. Enjoy your hobby -- any hobby. Don't let the assholes get in your head and diminish the passion for what you enjoy. They don't matter.

 

[dmacrae]

That's exactly what he is, a tolerated family member. Being the way I am I do find a lot of ways to connect with him. It's only when I take my lasers out he starts with the usual "waste of time/money/energy" mantra. I just have to let some things slide. You know they did a study that suggests people his age (50+) are about 40% more likely to die in the next 3 years if they remain sedentary for 10 or more hours a day every day. Not including sleep. Don't quote me on that and if I'm wrong don't tell me. I gotta have hopes and dreams here.

 

[Multimode]

A hobby is a hobby.

Are those people who sit by the river catching fish only to put them in them back in the water crazy?
People who collect stamps - lick the back and put them in a album sad?
People who watch birds (flying kind) weird?
People who go to the train station to watch trains, nerds?
etc
Look at my RGB hand held laser thread to see the time "I've wasted", what does that make me ;-) (answers by PM)

All hobbies are crazy, depending on your point of view...and I never judge anyone by their hobby, neither should your father in law...

What does you father in law have as a hobby?

Do what you like and be proud of it.

ATB
MM

 

[dmacrae]

A hobby is a hobby.
What does you father in law have as a hobby?

Drinking, converting O2 into CO2, and bitching about my lasers :crackup:

- D.

 

[Multimode]

Drinking, converting O2 into CO2, and bitching about my lasers :crackup:
- D.

He's hardly got the moral high ground there has he