So why don't you kill me....
So apparently watching cartoons and "playing" with lasers makes me a loser. Being interested in advanced technology and refusing to submit to the misery of growing older has somehow placed me in that category. I don't think its fair to judge anyone for anything, its no ones place. Being told to grow up every time I bust out my lasers is becoming extremely disheartening. I've been on my own since I was 16 (about 9 years now) and I've always had a roof over my head and ill almost never miss a day of work. Watching cartoons and tinkering with my "toys" has never come between my responsibility and me. My father in law is constantly telling me to quit "playing with your stupid little lights and grow up" I'm almost too ashamed to take them out anymore.
I've always provided for myself and my woman and I know I'm not a loser, but I finally find a hobby that I love and all they do is embarass me. I just lost my best and only friend in the world, my little brother Joe. So I've been turning to lpf for conversation and fellowship. Which of course brings on more ridicule from the old man, and to a much lesser extent, my soon to be wife. She's always been supportive, just not very understanding. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you Lpf for giving me a place to fit in. Thank you especially to Danefex and 9ring, you two are the closest ill get to having any real friends for a long time. Long live Lpf! Sorry if this comes across as butt-hurt its mostly a catharsis for myself. I love lasers and I love life and only my body ever gets older. :beer:
- D.
D,
Read your post earlier today at work; didn't have a chance to reply thoroughly. I am having trouble finding the right words for this one, but hear me out:
What dictates a "loser?" - your father-in-law's opinion? No sir. A man lives his life, to each his own; you are right, who is he to judge? From what you have relayed to me, it seems that your father-in-law is simply old-fashioned. He is a strong believer in hard work, but only in the physical realm. He believes that a man, whether he wants to or not, should abandon childish dreams and ways to face reality. In a sense, he is right, D.
It's a difficult thing to master. Being honest with myself, I have looked upon others this way, and I am surely not proud of it...What I have done in my life, lived how I've lived, studied what I've studied, led me to an arrogant path. I looked at certain people as if they were childish and disgraceful - not something I am proud of - and only because I was smarter in my realms and more successful in my social aptitude, not taking into account or respecting the paths of others', whether they be relatable or not.
If you were the type of man to focus only on his cartoons and lasers, and be worthless to the nurturing of a family and your woman, then yes, I would agree with him. But no sir, you take do what needs to be done, you take care of your woman, and you
ARE successful. So then, what is there to be disheartened over? Nothing. It is a hobby, it is yours, and yours alone; your wife's, and your family's, if they wish to share in your enthusiasm. From an outsider's point of view, it seems that your father-in-law has never been impressed with you or what you are interested in - do not take this the wrong way from me, again I know nothing of the semantics - then why give credit to his demeaning words? A man will recognize his intentions, and temper his actions accordingly. You sir are the better man; while you would like to I know, you do not have to impress him - you two simply have different interests, and that needs to be made clear. You cannot live under his offensive words and be subject to his rash opinions. You are smart, you are strong, you know who you are.
You need to make clear to him what you are interested in and what your hobbies are, and that whether he comprehends the interest and technology behind it or not, he needs to grow a pair and learn some respect. I use this terminology purposefully - a point must be made to him that while you
do care what he thinks, it will not effect you and will only cause him distress until he learns to respect you, and understand the phrase "different strokes for different folks." Convey to him that he knows much more than you about a variety of topics, and that you had no idea how intricate some of his interests are - and that yours are the same. Make it known that you are a smart man and that perhaps a generation gap is the reason for the misunderstanding; doing this in a respectable manner might open him up to realizing that there is more to you, your hobbies, and your knowledge than meets the eye. Do this in a respectful, secure, and assertive manner, and I can promise you that things will change for you.
Live your life as you are, what you want to do, do not regret anything. There is a child inside all of us. I suffer from the terrible privilege of seeming and feeling much older than I actually am, and I thank my woman for bringing a new light to my outlook. She is still such a kid in her own mind: playful, carefree, enjoyable - and yet responsible, mature, determined. She has shown me that regardless of your age, what you do, or what you're expected to be, living for others' happiness, your own happiness, and the fulfillment of life is all there is to being successful. She is 2 years older than I am (she is 21, I am 19) and yet her mind is so kid-like and enjoyable, it is rejuvenating. While I feel and act much older than I am, and relate more to people in their late-20's, she still lives out the kid in her, and she is so happy doing it - a good reason why she is a Teacher in Early Childhood Education, loves it and is fantastic at it. I relate my own life for this reason: regardless of other people's outlook on you, live YOU for YOU. Your hobbies, interests, and work may be drastically different, but that, in my opinion, is the best there can be. Diversity! That's what it's all about. I fly aircrafts, I love lasers, cars and the automotive industry are my passion, I know everything there is about an Xbox and gaming, I am a former website administrator, I ride motorcycles, I founded a fraternity chapter, and I have strong family values. Just to name a few! Diversity my friend - do what you want and share your passion with others. She does not understand my fascination with lasers and cannot imagine why I would pay $250 for a laser - but she does not hassle me with it and knows it is just because I am a kid at heart and love awesome things! While I can never see her interested in it, I know she will always appreciate my love for lasers as one of the small things I enjoy. Just as I do not hassle her with the fact that she plays Neopets and Pokemon at the age of 21! She is a kid at heart and I love it - I suppose what I am saying is this: be forthcoming and straightforward with who you are, in any relationship, I know that the small things are appreciated for their worth. And I know that if treated correctly, my lady will get into lasers in no time, and I will be playing Neopets with her soon enough.
Life is too short friend, while everyone appreciates a friend-base online, there is nothing quite like living your life to the fullest, and letting those who bring you down the most know that their words do nothing but influence you to be happier than they are.
I think I have typed a lot here, I hope you take the time to truly read it and hear the sincerity I have to share with you, D. Also, sorry to hear about your brother. I cannot imagine what that is like; while nowhere close to it, I lost a member of my brotherhood today at the age of 19. An identical twin and someone I've known for years; heartbreaking all the same.
Good luck, D, and if you need anything else, let me know. Can't wait to get to know you better.
~Joseph
