Your way of looking at this is touching-- maybe you will not be held back in getting better due to stress- and i also completely understand your feeling about working again in the future--'
BUT getting ,at least. 'into the system' now- is what I suggest-- +++'Hope for the best, but be ready for the worst'-- ++
and having set things into motion to get a hand-up(NOT A HANDOUT) -- to be sure your family is going to be fine- will lower stress on you-- and later when you will be back 100% (our wish for you) you can ALWAYS get with the agencies and let them l know things have improved and they will take care of the rest.
I love the food banks- went when I was in need- saw what good they do and while I was not `100% fit to go back to work...
I was able to help them a few days per week as a volunteer. (six years now)- Since I was going there each time as a client it made sense to just arrive early/stay late and help as long as i had time to..
I am PMing you some links- but there is more out there-
Most help agencies have printed lists of all the help for thier area-
also IIRC in any state
2 1 1 is the quick help number-
V/R Len