Legendary quotes

[daguin]

My first exwife me talking to her: Did I hurt you? No, why? You moved!

A quotation from my first wife -

"If it hurts, we're not doing it again."

Peace,
dave

 

[00Giorge]

Quote from an ex-girlfriend
"OH GOD that hurts so good"

 

[AUTO XX]

That IS a legendary quote!

 

[00Giorge]

^^ She was a little phsyco but was the best sex ever! She would try anything once or twice and the great thing was she didn't want a relationship she just wanted sex.

I really miss her sometimes, I think I still have fingernail scares on my ass!:eg:

 

[AUTO XX]

10 words too many....

 

[00Giorge]

I could tell you stories about her and her step sister, but it is X rated!

 

[Ignis Fatuus]

They other day I was busting my GFs chops, and told her she likes big, fat, huge c**k. She said 'eeew'. I said I have never known a woman who said 'eeew' with mentioning a of a fat c**k. Then I said, 'Then again you dont have a c*nt punched out to the size of a tuna can yet". ^^

 

[bobhaha]

Heard this story from a friend...

Train driver over loud speaker: "Please ensure that you take all your personal items with you and if you do happen to leave anything behind, make sure it is something I am able to use, wear or sell."

 

[HIMNL9]

Well, at least, it was a honest sentence ..... :crackup:

 

[Ignis Fatuus]

Almost only counts in horseshoes, sex, hand grenades, and thermonuclear devices.

 

[daguin]

Almost only counts in horseshoes, sex, and hand grenades.

And thermonuclear devices

Peace,
dave

 

[Ignis Fatuus]

Corrected. :eg:

 

[HIMNL9]

^ ^^ Aww, that's bad, this means i count little ..... i only have a 100HP diesel SW car, a pair of biochemical hand grenades, and only 1 thermonuclear device ..... :eg:

 

[brando132]

And thermonuclear devices

Peace,
dave

And government paperwork.

 

[Flaminpyro]

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on !

Eleanor Roosevelt

 

[Don't Laze Me Bro]

It was the night before christmas, and all through the house, everyone felt shitty, even the mouse!
Dad at the whore house, Mom smokin` grass and I'd settled down for a nice piece of ass.
Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my piece to see whats the matter!
He came down the chimney like a bat outta hell, I knew right away that the fat fucker fell.
He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with one hell of a fart, that son-of-a-bitch blew my chimney apart!
He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, piss on you all, and have one hell of a night!
MONEY IS SHORT, TIMES ARE HARD, HERE'S YOUE FUCKIN CHRISTMAS CARD!!!!!!