Not sure of their origin, but I use these all the time...
"When all is said and done, more is said than done."
"If history teaches us anything, it is that history teaches us nothing..."
"Blessed are the cheese makers." - Life of Brian.
"I think he is referring to dairy producers in general, not just cheese makers" - Life of Brian.
"A closed mouth gathers no foot."
"How can you remove a splinter from someones eye, when you have a plank in yours?" - The Bible.
"Before you criticize anyone, you should first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when they find out, you are a mile away AND you have their shoes!"
"it is far far better to remain quite and be considered a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt..."
"When I started working here, I did not know how to spell Engineer, now I is one..."
Q. How many people work here? "About half of them!"
"The impossible is achieved here daily, miracles take a little longer."
About climbing the corporate ladder: "When you look down, all you see are smiling faces. When you look up all you see are assholes!"
One I use with regular clients and suppliers "I'll have my people talk to your people, and who knows, maybe we will do lunch."
And to quote a few from Trailer Park Boys from Canada:
"Listen Babandy, hear that? A shit wind is comin."
"I have been doin some head thinkin and stuff and gettin my head together, thinkin of do'in some book learnin and readin stuff. Hell I might even get my grade 10!" - Ricky.
"Watch out for the pitter patter of the shit-a-pillar Randy..." - Jim
"Smokes boys, hand em, over" - Ricky
"Feeding these kitties is getting harder and harder, the small cans of cat food cost the same as the big tins used to." - Bubbles
"It's the way of the road Bubbles, the way of the Road..." - Ray, Ricky's old man
"I don't know if you noticed Ray, but your not on the road anymore!" - Bubbles
"Shhh, I'm thinking." takes a sip of his liquor - Julian
"I am the liquor." - Jim.
"Here come the Shit Puppets" - Jim
"Don't cross the shit line." - Jim
:crackup
