Quantas pilots complains, and related engineers solutions, from their records
Pilots: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Pilots: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
Pilots: Something loose in cockpit.
Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.
Pilots: Dead bugs on windshield.
Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.
Pilots: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Pilots: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Engineers: Evidence removed.
Pilots: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Engineers: That's what they're for.
Pilots: Suspected crack in windshield.
Engineers: Suspect you're right.
Pilots: Number 3 engine missing.
Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Pilots: Aircraft handles funny.
Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
Pilots: Target radar hums
Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
Pilots: Mouse in cockpit.
Engineers: Cat installed.
Pilots: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Engineers: Took hammer away from midget.
Well, from pilots side they look fails, but from engineers side they look almost wins
:crackup: