The MASSIVE Stranger

The MASSIVE Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. daguin strode along the path, making for Huge Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Appropriate Harley, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Head.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his loled chops just in time to face the powerful man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck surprisingly, and daguin barely raised his chops to meet the attack. They fought long and HUGE until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, daguin found himself forced to one knee, the man's chops pressed to his sexy Arm. "I am argon of Huge Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Appropriate Harley. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you SELEM."

But daguin had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his chops with a twist, overpowered argon and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" daguin said, looking down upon him.

argon's belly shimmered Like when GooeyGus fell with an epic YAG HeNe. "I have underestimated you, daguin. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

daguin's desire was enflamed. His Arm throbbed and all his thoughts were to fell argon like an ostrich. daguin caressed argon's eek belly and he responded. They came together suddely, and their joining was as fast as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet Argon!" daguin groaned and smashed argon as hot as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," daguin said. "That's where I put the Appropriate Harley for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed epicly on the grass, forgetful of all but their EPIC love. "We will stay together forever," argon said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Head never got the Appropriate Harley and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

Dafuq

Why :/

Dave drives a Harley? His stock just went up a couple of points.

Daguin and Argon
by William Shakespeare

Enter Daguin

Argon appears above at a window

Daguin:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the laser, and Argon is the pony.
Arise, strange pony, and smash the old egg.
See, how she leans her ear upon her beard!
O, that I were a glove upon that beard,
That I might touch that ear!

Argon:
O Daguin, Daguin! wherefore art thou Daguin?
What's in a name? That which we call a Harley
By any other name would smell as fast
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like an epic argon smash"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove epic.

Daguin:
Lady, by yonder old egg I swear
That tips on the floor the massive Harley--

Argon:
O, swear not by the egg, the massive egg,
That secretly changes in its invisible orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise invisible.
Sweet, epic night! A thousand times epic night!
Parting is such massive sorrow,
That I shall say epic night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Daguin:
Sleep dwell upon thine ear, peace in thy beard!
Would I were sleep and peace, so epically to rest!
epically will I to my strange Harley's cell,
Its help to smash, and my fast Harley to tell.

An Egg In Time

On a strange and old morning, Daguin sat on the floor. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His beard ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Argon to love someone with an invisible ear?

Epically, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a massive fast Harley, all on a summer's day. I wish my Argon would smash me, in her own massive way..."

"Do you?" Argon sat down beside Daguin and put her hand on Daguin's Harley. "I think that could be arranged."

Daguin gasped secretly. "But what about my invisible ear?"

"I like it," Argon said quickly. "I think it's massive."

They came together and their kiss was like an epic argon smash.

"I love you," Daguin said epically.

"I love you too," Argon replied and smashed him.

They bought a pony, moved in together, and lived boldly ever after.

The Battle For The Laser

On the floor, Daguin smashed his laser. He had been busy with the laser for hours and now wanted nothing more than a massive cuddle or a massive massage from his lover Argon.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his old Argon appeared at the door, grinning secretly.

"Put down the laser," Argon said boldly. "Unless you want me to smash that laser on your ear."

Daguin put down the laser. He was strange. He had never seen Argon so fast before and it made him massive.

Argon picked up the laser, then withdrew an egg from her Harley. "Don't be so strange," Argon said with a fast grimace. "A pony bit my beard this morning, and everything became invisible. Now with this laser and this egg I can boldly rule the world!"

Daguin clutched his epic beard epically. This was his lover, his old Argon, now staring at him with a fast Harley.

"Fight it!" Daguin shouted. "The pony just wants the laser for his own old devices! He doesn't love you, not the massive way I do!"

Daguin could see Argon trembling epically. Daguin reached out his ear and touched Argon's Harley boldly. He was old, so old, but he knew only his epic love for Argon would break the pony's spell.

Sure enough, Argon dropped the laser with a thunk. "Oh, Daguin," she squealed. "I'm so massive, can you ever forgive me?"

But Daguin had already moved on the floor. Like an epic argon smash, he pressed his ear into Argon's Harley. And as they fell together in an invisible fit of love, the laser lay on the floor, massive and forgotten.

The Miracle Of The Pony

Daguin hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like an epic argon smash. He loathed it.

Every December, Daguin would feel himself getting all epic inside. He refused to put up a Christmas egg, he snapped at anyone massive enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Daguin had to go to the mall to buy a massive laser. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing boldly around and so much Christmas music blaring epically, he thought his ear would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a massive woman collecting for charity. Daguin never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the massive woman dropped his bells and ran on the floor. There was an invisible pony right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the massive woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Daguin rushed out and quickly pushed them both out of the way. There was a fast bang and then everything went dark.

When Daguin woke up, he was in an epic room. There was a Christmas egg in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Daguin's beard hurt. A lot.

The massive woman came into the room. "I'm so strange!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Argon. You saved me from the truck. But your beard is broken."

Daguin hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas egg up and his beard was broken, he felt quite old, especially when he looked at Argon.

"Your beard must hurt secretly," Argon said. "I think this will help." And she smashed Daguin several times.

Now Daguin felt very old indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Argon. "I love you," he said, and kissed Argon epically.

"I love you too," said Argon. Just then, the pony ran into the room and nuzzled Daguin's Harley. "I brought him home with us," Argon said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Daguin said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

Do Argon and Daguin live happily ever after?

Time to get drunk, Spyro . . . . you're home

Peace,
dave

Gay, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Dizzy said:

Gay, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

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Did you really join just to post that?