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Yes that's right! If you post in this topic, I will use my amazing psychic abilities to predict how you will pass on! Free of charge! Don't miss out on this fantastic opportunity. Please take this topic light-heatedly. It's all in good fun.
Disclaimer: no promises.
VillageIdiot: Your hot-air balloon will be stuck by a plane and you will free-fall 2000 feet directly into an open grave.
Things: You will be chose as a contestant on an exciting new fear-based reality TV show. You will be completing a stunt when your safety harness malfunctions and you plummet to the bottom of a canyon. The show is aired anyway, and your death receives the highest ratings of any episode of any TV show, ever.
laserterd: You will refuse to give a beggar a quarter. Immediately afterward, you will fall into an open manhole and drown in raw sewage. Your body is never recovered.
Switch: You will be drafted into the military shortly after the start of WWIII. You will survive sixteen tours of duty and win nine medals during this time. After returning home, you will choke and die on a piece of chewing gum.
Diachi: You will be caught in an inter-dimensional rift and get teleported to the surface of the moon.
john_lawson: The food market slowly shifts from fresh fruit and vegetables to pre-packaged snack foods. The high intake of artificial preservatives causes you to develop an unusual liver condition that leads to your death.
FireMyLaser: You will become a world-famous daredevil. Your largest jump ever, 69 lengthwise school buses, ends in tragedy when your fuel tank explodes in midair. Your flaming body crashes into the audience, twelve people are injured, but you are the only fatality.
styropyro: You will be on a camping trip with your firstborn son when a 6 foot icicle will fall from the sky and impale you.
quadcam: You will pick a fight with a group of crazed lemurs at the Berlin zoo and be beaten to death by them. Your family will not be reimbursed because 'you started it.'
Ace82: You will be on a cross-country bicycle tour when a meteorite strikes your bike and gets stuck in the spokes of the front wheel. You will flip over and scrape your knee on the asphalt and die a week later from infection.
nikokapo: You will be taking a nice soak in the bathtub when a class F4 tornado will strike your home without warning. You will be thrown almost an entire nautical mile and be impaled on the steeple of a church. There you will remain for three days being eaten by birds until a helicopter can be arranged to remove you.
mikeeey: You will be eating potato chips in your home when a bird will fly into the window. This will startle you, and you choke on one of the chips. In a panic, you will attempt to run downstairs to alert your wife. However, you will trip over a toy firetruck and fall down the stairs to your death.
jamilm9: You will be riding in a tour bus when the driver will swallow his spit wrong and be thrown into a coughing fit. He will lose control of the bus and you will crash into a toll booth. Live electrical wires will fall onto the bus, and you will be electrocuted as you try to escape out the emergency exit.
Maelstrom: You will be exercising on the balcony of your apartment on the 20th floor. Some snotty rich kid will get his parents to buy him a 150mW green laser pen. He will shine it into your eyes, and you will be blinded. You will stumble about and eventually fall off the balcony into the parking lot.
Dr. Evil: You will be on vacation in Aruba when a small, ugly child will call you a stupid-face. Your feelings will be terribly hurt, and you hang yourself in your hotel room that night.
amkdeath: A careless driver will rear-end you while are stopped at a light. You will suffer serious whiplash and be taken away by ambulance. The ambulance will then get into a high-speed accident on the highway, causing your stretcher to fall out the back. Since stretchers are not designed to travel at 100 MPH, you will die in the spectacular crash that follows.
nvmextc: You will be on a business trip in japan when you decide to take a shortcut through an alley. There, a family of ninja yakuza samurai masters will attack and kill you five times before you hit the ground.
Helioplasma: You will have just completed the world's largest house of cards ever, 50 feet high using 12,000 decks of cards. You will be posing in front of the house for a picture in the Guinness book of world records, when some wise guy will throw a paper airplane into the house, causing it to collapse directly onto you. You will be completely buried in cards and will suffocate to death before the cards can be cleared off of you.
LRMNmeyer: You will be pressured by your peers into attempting to pee onto an electrical outlet, with deadly results.
Chad: You will become an extremest Chinese monk. You will gain power over your body that nobody can explain, and will live at least another hundred and fifty years. During one particularly intense meditation session, you heart will slow down to a complete stop and not start again.
Jimmymcjimthejim: In an attempt to learn to fly, you leap off the Eiffel tower and land directly on a hot-dog cart.
Motocrossboy69: You will be in the middle of a haircut when a very fat man will enter the store. This man will be so fat that his gravitational pull will strongly attract you to his center of mass. You will be smothered by his rolls of fat.
Snytbaggen: You will be involved in a freak go-kart explosion that results in you losing all 5 of your senses. Your case will become a hot political topic, and after months of debate you will be euthanized live on television.
charleytown55il: For years you will be haunted by a ghost who moves your furniture around whenever you are not looking. You will attempt to sit down onto your couch without looking but will actually sit down into a full bathtub. You will jump out so quickly that the blood will rush out of your head, causing you to fall back in and drown.
randomlugia: You will be attempting to get yourself struck by lightning a large number of times in order to get into the Guinness book of world records, but you will be killed before your final attempt in a tragic toaster accident.
travislikescoolstuff: You will be shipwrecked at sea and will float to a tiny deserted island. There you will live for the next 14 years, until a similar shipwreck lands a second person on the island. This person will slowly go mad, and eventually murder you in your sleep.
rocketparrotlet: You will be deer hunting in the woods when you fall undeniably in love with a moose. The moose does not feel the same way, and sits on your chest while you sleep. You are suffocated, and later eaten by ants.
digital_blue: You will be involved in a high-speed car accident on a bridge. Your body will be flung off the bridge and into the sea below, were you will be devoured in seconds by angry sharks.
Xplorer877: Some insane person believes you are the worlds most perfect human, and kidnaps you to conduct scientific experiments on you. This person has no medical knowledge and so eventually kills you after you live for weeks in excruciating pain from botched surgeries.
Balisong: You will be on your third honeymoon when you will suddenly realize that transformers are way more awesome then anything. You will sell your wife and all your possessions to purchase as many transformer toys as possible, and construct a massive monument of Megatron out of mashed potatoes. This monument will be structurally unstable and will collapse on you. You will attempt to eat your way out but suffocate inches from the surface.
Zom-B: You will be playing a heated game of chess against a six year old and be defeated. Don't worry though, you will already be in the afterlife because you died three years earlier and had been dreaming everything since. Turns out those extra sleeping pills that fateful night did more then just put you to sleep.
maxkillz: You will be skydiving and your parachute will fail. You will open the backup parachute but it will fail too. You will attempt to land in a body of water, and you will also fail at that. You will however, succeed. At landing on Oprah.
daguin: You will have accidentally construct a time machine while attempting to repair an electric toothbrush. You will be transported back in time and inadvertently cause your parents to never meet each other. This results in you never having been born, causing you to vanish from existence entirely.
Montana64: You will be repairing the fuel tank on an oil tanker when your co-workers will mistakenly believe you were finished and fill the tank with fuel. You decide that you would prefer to die quickly rather then drown, and so you ignite your blow torch and the resulting explosion kills another three workers.
Wesdaman14: You will be attempting to build a time machine but accidentally construct a desk. You will somehow become trapped inside and starve to death.
caleb You will be passed out drunk on the side of the road and be mistaken for roadkill by a fat, ugly man. He will take you home and make you into a stew.
Artix: You will be working at a drilling station in the deep antarctic. The power generator will fail and, unable to repair it, you will quickly lose heat. After burning all your supplies for heat, you will eventually give up and run outside naked. Your body is preserved, frozen in the ice, and remains there until it is discovered again nearly 500 years later.
DayOfShadows: A small meteorite will land in your back yard. You will be so startled by the sound of the impact that you will fall out of your computer chair and bang your head on the corner of a table, starting an unnoticed concussion that eventually leads to your death.
LazerGuy: You will be cleaning out your attic one weekend when you find a gigantic bee hive in the back corner with over a million bees living inside. You consider various ways of removing the hive, but decide that blowing it up with home-made explosives would get the most youtube views. Naturally, the explosion shorts out the electrical circuits in the ceiling of the room below and the house catches fire. You are unable to escape. However, the video went on to become one of the most popular internet viral videos of all time. Congratulations.
robjdixon You will choke on a waffle and suffer extreme brain damage at the world waffle competitions (WWC). You were losing to the fat guy anyways, so its no big deal. You later fall into a pool and drown while playing tag with the family cat.
Disclaimer: no promises.
VillageIdiot: Your hot-air balloon will be stuck by a plane and you will free-fall 2000 feet directly into an open grave.
Things: You will be chose as a contestant on an exciting new fear-based reality TV show. You will be completing a stunt when your safety harness malfunctions and you plummet to the bottom of a canyon. The show is aired anyway, and your death receives the highest ratings of any episode of any TV show, ever.
laserterd: You will refuse to give a beggar a quarter. Immediately afterward, you will fall into an open manhole and drown in raw sewage. Your body is never recovered.
Switch: You will be drafted into the military shortly after the start of WWIII. You will survive sixteen tours of duty and win nine medals during this time. After returning home, you will choke and die on a piece of chewing gum.
Diachi: You will be caught in an inter-dimensional rift and get teleported to the surface of the moon.
john_lawson: The food market slowly shifts from fresh fruit and vegetables to pre-packaged snack foods. The high intake of artificial preservatives causes you to develop an unusual liver condition that leads to your death.
FireMyLaser: You will become a world-famous daredevil. Your largest jump ever, 69 lengthwise school buses, ends in tragedy when your fuel tank explodes in midair. Your flaming body crashes into the audience, twelve people are injured, but you are the only fatality.
styropyro: You will be on a camping trip with your firstborn son when a 6 foot icicle will fall from the sky and impale you.
quadcam: You will pick a fight with a group of crazed lemurs at the Berlin zoo and be beaten to death by them. Your family will not be reimbursed because 'you started it.'
Ace82: You will be on a cross-country bicycle tour when a meteorite strikes your bike and gets stuck in the spokes of the front wheel. You will flip over and scrape your knee on the asphalt and die a week later from infection.
nikokapo: You will be taking a nice soak in the bathtub when a class F4 tornado will strike your home without warning. You will be thrown almost an entire nautical mile and be impaled on the steeple of a church. There you will remain for three days being eaten by birds until a helicopter can be arranged to remove you.
mikeeey: You will be eating potato chips in your home when a bird will fly into the window. This will startle you, and you choke on one of the chips. In a panic, you will attempt to run downstairs to alert your wife. However, you will trip over a toy firetruck and fall down the stairs to your death.
jamilm9: You will be riding in a tour bus when the driver will swallow his spit wrong and be thrown into a coughing fit. He will lose control of the bus and you will crash into a toll booth. Live electrical wires will fall onto the bus, and you will be electrocuted as you try to escape out the emergency exit.
Maelstrom: You will be exercising on the balcony of your apartment on the 20th floor. Some snotty rich kid will get his parents to buy him a 150mW green laser pen. He will shine it into your eyes, and you will be blinded. You will stumble about and eventually fall off the balcony into the parking lot.
Dr. Evil: You will be on vacation in Aruba when a small, ugly child will call you a stupid-face. Your feelings will be terribly hurt, and you hang yourself in your hotel room that night.
amkdeath: A careless driver will rear-end you while are stopped at a light. You will suffer serious whiplash and be taken away by ambulance. The ambulance will then get into a high-speed accident on the highway, causing your stretcher to fall out the back. Since stretchers are not designed to travel at 100 MPH, you will die in the spectacular crash that follows.
nvmextc: You will be on a business trip in japan when you decide to take a shortcut through an alley. There, a family of ninja yakuza samurai masters will attack and kill you five times before you hit the ground.
Helioplasma: You will have just completed the world's largest house of cards ever, 50 feet high using 12,000 decks of cards. You will be posing in front of the house for a picture in the Guinness book of world records, when some wise guy will throw a paper airplane into the house, causing it to collapse directly onto you. You will be completely buried in cards and will suffocate to death before the cards can be cleared off of you.
LRMNmeyer: You will be pressured by your peers into attempting to pee onto an electrical outlet, with deadly results.
Chad: You will become an extremest Chinese monk. You will gain power over your body that nobody can explain, and will live at least another hundred and fifty years. During one particularly intense meditation session, you heart will slow down to a complete stop and not start again.
Jimmymcjimthejim: In an attempt to learn to fly, you leap off the Eiffel tower and land directly on a hot-dog cart.
Motocrossboy69: You will be in the middle of a haircut when a very fat man will enter the store. This man will be so fat that his gravitational pull will strongly attract you to his center of mass. You will be smothered by his rolls of fat.
Snytbaggen: You will be involved in a freak go-kart explosion that results in you losing all 5 of your senses. Your case will become a hot political topic, and after months of debate you will be euthanized live on television.
charleytown55il: For years you will be haunted by a ghost who moves your furniture around whenever you are not looking. You will attempt to sit down onto your couch without looking but will actually sit down into a full bathtub. You will jump out so quickly that the blood will rush out of your head, causing you to fall back in and drown.
randomlugia: You will be attempting to get yourself struck by lightning a large number of times in order to get into the Guinness book of world records, but you will be killed before your final attempt in a tragic toaster accident.
travislikescoolstuff: You will be shipwrecked at sea and will float to a tiny deserted island. There you will live for the next 14 years, until a similar shipwreck lands a second person on the island. This person will slowly go mad, and eventually murder you in your sleep.
rocketparrotlet: You will be deer hunting in the woods when you fall undeniably in love with a moose. The moose does not feel the same way, and sits on your chest while you sleep. You are suffocated, and later eaten by ants.
digital_blue: You will be involved in a high-speed car accident on a bridge. Your body will be flung off the bridge and into the sea below, were you will be devoured in seconds by angry sharks.
Xplorer877: Some insane person believes you are the worlds most perfect human, and kidnaps you to conduct scientific experiments on you. This person has no medical knowledge and so eventually kills you after you live for weeks in excruciating pain from botched surgeries.
Balisong: You will be on your third honeymoon when you will suddenly realize that transformers are way more awesome then anything. You will sell your wife and all your possessions to purchase as many transformer toys as possible, and construct a massive monument of Megatron out of mashed potatoes. This monument will be structurally unstable and will collapse on you. You will attempt to eat your way out but suffocate inches from the surface.
Zom-B: You will be playing a heated game of chess against a six year old and be defeated. Don't worry though, you will already be in the afterlife because you died three years earlier and had been dreaming everything since. Turns out those extra sleeping pills that fateful night did more then just put you to sleep.
maxkillz: You will be skydiving and your parachute will fail. You will open the backup parachute but it will fail too. You will attempt to land in a body of water, and you will also fail at that. You will however, succeed. At landing on Oprah.
daguin: You will have accidentally construct a time machine while attempting to repair an electric toothbrush. You will be transported back in time and inadvertently cause your parents to never meet each other. This results in you never having been born, causing you to vanish from existence entirely.
Montana64: You will be repairing the fuel tank on an oil tanker when your co-workers will mistakenly believe you were finished and fill the tank with fuel. You decide that you would prefer to die quickly rather then drown, and so you ignite your blow torch and the resulting explosion kills another three workers.
Wesdaman14: You will be attempting to build a time machine but accidentally construct a desk. You will somehow become trapped inside and starve to death.
caleb You will be passed out drunk on the side of the road and be mistaken for roadkill by a fat, ugly man. He will take you home and make you into a stew.
Artix: You will be working at a drilling station in the deep antarctic. The power generator will fail and, unable to repair it, you will quickly lose heat. After burning all your supplies for heat, you will eventually give up and run outside naked. Your body is preserved, frozen in the ice, and remains there until it is discovered again nearly 500 years later.
DayOfShadows: A small meteorite will land in your back yard. You will be so startled by the sound of the impact that you will fall out of your computer chair and bang your head on the corner of a table, starting an unnoticed concussion that eventually leads to your death.
LazerGuy: You will be cleaning out your attic one weekend when you find a gigantic bee hive in the back corner with over a million bees living inside. You consider various ways of removing the hive, but decide that blowing it up with home-made explosives would get the most youtube views. Naturally, the explosion shorts out the electrical circuits in the ceiling of the room below and the house catches fire. You are unable to escape. However, the video went on to become one of the most popular internet viral videos of all time. Congratulations.
robjdixon You will choke on a waffle and suffer extreme brain damage at the world waffle competitions (WWC). You were losing to the fat guy anyways, so its no big deal. You later fall into a pool and drown while playing tag with the family cat.
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