diachi
0
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2008
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Re: LPF's largest quote =D
well at least its in off topic this time [/quote]
we should do a story... each person add a word to the story...
i will start with a sentence:
one day a young boy was walking down the street when all of the sudden.......
(quote and then add 1 word after the quote)[/quote]
huge[/quote]
sword-wielding chipmunks[/quote]
PWN'D [/quote]
pedobear [/quote]
If you type in a lot of stuff in your messages, it will make the huge quote a ton bigger in the long run because it will be forced to put all of these words in suck a small place. That reminds me: Supercalafragilisticexfialidocious. If you type in a lot of stuff in your messages, it will make the huge quote a ton bigger in the long run because it will be forced to put all of these words in suck a small place. That reminds me: Supercalafragilisticexfialidocious.[/quote]
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! you killed the story :'( and it was going to be epic heh this reminds me of a story I once heard from a girl named shawna this is her story word for word ;D it's quite funny...well i think so this was when a bunch of us were shareing stories about the worse place/time you had no TP when it was needed most
Several years ago, I had a medical problem (which I won’t go into here)that had me going to different doctors several times a week. At one point, one doctor decided I must have a “silent kidney stone” (I’ve known two guys with kidney stones, and trust me, there’s nothing silent about them), and sent me to the local radiology center of the hospital for a pyleogram, which is where they inject you with radioactive dye and they then take x-rays to see where all the dye goes.
Before I had to have this done, the night before, I was given a little kit to take home with me. Apparently, the dye didn’t work too well if you were full of crap, so I had a little metallic envelope filled with this powder that was an industrial-strength laxative. I was directed to go straight home, mix the powder with some drink, chug it, then, for the rest of the night, be within easy sprinting distance of a bathroom.
So I took the drink and waited…and waited….and waited. Nothing was happening. This must be not too uncommon, because also with my little kit were two tiny tablets. If the powder didn’t start making you crap uncontrollably within 2 hours, I was to take one of the pills. If another hour passed and still nothing was happening, I was to take the other pill, and that would, of course, work.
It didn’t. I’d eaten well that day, so it wasn’t a case of, there was nothing there. I remember telling my BF to sleep on the couch that night, because I was seriously worried that the laxatives would kick in while I was sleeping, and I wanted to spare him from the fecal explosion.
I woke up early the next day, and wouldn’t you know, still nothing? Usually, in the morning, the first cigarette of the day got things moving nicely. Unfortunately, that was one of the banned things for that morning (no eating, no drinking if at all possible, or only water if you just had to, and no smoking).
A friend took me to radiology, where I tell them the stuff didn’t work, so don’t yell at me if you can’t see anything. I get dressed in a hospital gown and lie down on the table. They put a heparin lock in a vein of my arm, and then go off to get the dye.
No joke, they showed up with a syringe about the size and shape of a Pringles can. My jaw dropped and I said, “You’re not injecting all of that into me, right?” I started to be relieved when they said “No,” and really freaked when they said, “We’ll be injecting three of these into you,”
They slowly injected the first syringe into my vein. I don’t know how it did this, but it literally went straight into my bladder. I went from empty bladder to “must pee NOW” in the ten seconds it took for them to inject this. I asked to go to the bathroom, and they said, no, as they were beginning to shoot images. Then it was time for the second syringe of dye. After this one, I had to puke. Bad. I could tell this wasn’t just nausea that would go away, it would only be relieved by vomiting. I asked again if I could go to the bathroom, and again, they said no, still shooting.
I guess I should have expected where the third dye dose would go, but I didn’t. All of a sudden, I had to take a dump worse than I’d ever had to before in my life. I could also feel that the laxatives had decided to do their job at the exact same moment. I was shaking so hard, and crying (closed mouthed to stop immanent pukage). I literally felt like I was going to explode. I had to stay like that for another few minutes while they finished up. don’t know how I managed to not disgrace myself there. As soon as they said to get up, I was in the bathroom. I don’t remember covering the space between the room and the bathroom, I was just there. As I was slamming my butt into position, I grabbed the litle wastebasket that was in the corner, and then, for five minutes, pissed, crapped and puked, all at the same time.
After I was sure I was empty (and probably ten pounds lighter), I put my clothes on and crawled out to the waiting room. My friend, alarmed at how bad I looked, said that I could stay with him and his roommate until mty boyfriend got off work. Sure, I said. I was sure I was done. I mean, I couldn’t have anything else left in me, right?
My friend and his roommate had to go to another town about 50 miles away for something, so I went with them. Big mistake. Halfway there, I started puking, and I had to heave into an old Wal-Mart bag that I found on the floor, and they were frantically trying to find a gas station, as we were literally in the middle of nowhere. A Texaco came up over a hill, and we went straight there. Thank God it was not one of those ones they lock and you have to get the key from the attendant, or I’d have ruined my clothes.
After I get done hosing the dye out of my behind, I reached behind me to flush the toilet and….nothing happened. Nothing at all. I won’t go into detail, but I’d pretty much doubled the volume of fluid that had been in the bowl before I sat down, and it was really, really bad, not to mention slightly radioactive. I kept trying to flush, but nothing happened. I hate it when someone goes to a public bathroom and leaves their wastes behind without flushing, but I had no choice.
When I got out of the bathroom, I went over to tell the attendant the bathroom needed help, big time. He was busy flirting with two girls and he didn’t seem to appreciate the gravity of the situation. I mean, I just left a BIOHAZARD in the bathroom, and he was looking at me like I was a prima donna about the whole thing. We just left. I hope he got devoured by the radioactive poop Godzilla that likely emerged.
The worst part was later that day, when I called my mom to tell her what was up. If I could have strangled her through the phone I would have, as she told me, “Yeah, I had the same problem when I had an angiogram done. I had this delayed reaction to the laxatives, and I got really sick from the dye.” Nice of her to tell me this AFTER my tests, instead of before.
And then it turned out the whole medical problem was caused by a withdrawal off one of my medications, and the problem was solved by a month’s worth of the Pill. I never needed the pyleogram (or the camera up the bladder I got a few days later when the pyleogram came up negative), dye or laxatives in the first place, and it took something like 6 different doctors before one of them figured this out.
story number 2 by Tom
I got stuck with no TP while sitting in a bathroom at a public library. I happened to have been wearing shorts at the time, so I wasn’t about to take the risk that I’d be dropping crap as I walked out.
Luckily, the bathroom was completely empty. So, I flush and shuffle to the next stall hoping no one comes in at that moment and sees a nude 12-year-old boy in desperate need of TP. Guess what?
Some idiot locked the stall and left it that way. I shuffle over to the handicapped stall, find no TP in there either (I pity any handicapped dudes in that situation) and as I’m not about to slide under the stall door and get all manner of crap (not literally, but quite possibly) on me, I decide to be more daring.
Lucky for me, there’s a city newspaper published by a quasi-governmental organization that is kept on a rack just outside the door to the bathroom. I was forced to open the door, hiding all but my head behind the door before managing to snatch one and saving myself from the ignominy of crap-filled shorts while walking home from the library.
story number 3 by gobbledegook
I used to be in the boy scouts as a kid, and the worst experience ever was being out on a wilderness camping trip and having everyone simultaneously realize that no one brought any TP after we’d just hiked 15 miles to the camp site. Nobody was willing to hike another 30 miles (there and back again) just to get any, either.
At least there were a lot of leaves around… [/quote]
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg
Aequeosalinocalcalinoceraceoaluminosocupreovitriolic
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
Did somebody say long?
[/quote]
the long story is the funnest story i have heard on the internet.[/quote]
lol there are a ton more where that came from *looks in my documents folder which contains literally hundreds to thousands of stories.*[/quote]
THIS IS A BIG QUOTE loll
lllllllllllll
l
l
j[/quote]
No we are doing it wrong!
We are supposed to quote from the person above us! not the epic story!!!!! [/quote]
well, just let's limit to a sentence or something like that
it gets really stupid if you just say:
a
a
a
but if you want length....then:
[/quote]
BLOODY HELL THAT THING IS LONG ! [/quote]
What do you think the idea of this thread is ?
[/quote]
Why the " " its the off-topic section, it's ok to spam here ![/quote]
.[/quote]
Wow Ace that was loooooooooooooongggggggggg ....
@ John_lawson :
Ace82 said:[quote author=Diachi link=1223423303/20#27 date=1223483351][quote author=Diachi link=1223423303/20#25 date=1223482813][quote author=Diachi link=1223423303/20#23 date=1223481620][quote author=Niko link=1223423303/20#22 date=1223479082][quote author=Artix link=1223423303/0#19 date=1223433831][quote author=LRMNmeyer link=1223423303/0#18 date=1223432519][quote author=maxkillz link=1223423303/0#17 date=1223432386][quote author=jamilm9 link=1223423303/0#15 date=1223430854][quote author=Jimmymcjimthejim link=1223423303/0#10 date=1223429425][quote author=maxkillz link=1223423303/0#8 date=1223428143][quote author=styropyro link=1223423303/0#7 date=1223427109][quote author=maxkillz link=1223423303/0#6 date=1223425514][quote author=Artix link=1223423303/0#5 date=1223425260][quote author=maxkillz link=1223423303/0#4 date=1223424951][quote author=nvmextc link=1223423303/0#3 date=1223424557][quote author=thesk8nmidget link=1223423303/0#2 date=1223423887][quote author=thesk8nmidget link=1223423303/0#1 date=1223423817][quote author=Artix link=1223423303/0#0 date=1223423303]In a thread, we got pretty off topic and ended up with 24 quotes in one message! Here. And now, I have decided to start this in the off topic section, where we will beat the previous record!
well at least its in off topic this time [/quote]
we should do a story... each person add a word to the story...
i will start with a sentence:
one day a young boy was walking down the street when all of the sudden.......
(quote and then add 1 word after the quote)[/quote]
huge[/quote]
sword-wielding chipmunks[/quote]
PWN'D [/quote]
pedobear [/quote]
If you type in a lot of stuff in your messages, it will make the huge quote a ton bigger in the long run because it will be forced to put all of these words in suck a small place. That reminds me: Supercalafragilisticexfialidocious. If you type in a lot of stuff in your messages, it will make the huge quote a ton bigger in the long run because it will be forced to put all of these words in suck a small place. That reminds me: Supercalafragilisticexfialidocious.[/quote]
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! you killed the story :'( and it was going to be epic heh this reminds me of a story I once heard from a girl named shawna this is her story word for word ;D it's quite funny...well i think so this was when a bunch of us were shareing stories about the worse place/time you had no TP when it was needed most
Several years ago, I had a medical problem (which I won’t go into here)that had me going to different doctors several times a week. At one point, one doctor decided I must have a “silent kidney stone” (I’ve known two guys with kidney stones, and trust me, there’s nothing silent about them), and sent me to the local radiology center of the hospital for a pyleogram, which is where they inject you with radioactive dye and they then take x-rays to see where all the dye goes.
Before I had to have this done, the night before, I was given a little kit to take home with me. Apparently, the dye didn’t work too well if you were full of crap, so I had a little metallic envelope filled with this powder that was an industrial-strength laxative. I was directed to go straight home, mix the powder with some drink, chug it, then, for the rest of the night, be within easy sprinting distance of a bathroom.
So I took the drink and waited…and waited….and waited. Nothing was happening. This must be not too uncommon, because also with my little kit were two tiny tablets. If the powder didn’t start making you crap uncontrollably within 2 hours, I was to take one of the pills. If another hour passed and still nothing was happening, I was to take the other pill, and that would, of course, work.
It didn’t. I’d eaten well that day, so it wasn’t a case of, there was nothing there. I remember telling my BF to sleep on the couch that night, because I was seriously worried that the laxatives would kick in while I was sleeping, and I wanted to spare him from the fecal explosion.
I woke up early the next day, and wouldn’t you know, still nothing? Usually, in the morning, the first cigarette of the day got things moving nicely. Unfortunately, that was one of the banned things for that morning (no eating, no drinking if at all possible, or only water if you just had to, and no smoking).
A friend took me to radiology, where I tell them the stuff didn’t work, so don’t yell at me if you can’t see anything. I get dressed in a hospital gown and lie down on the table. They put a heparin lock in a vein of my arm, and then go off to get the dye.
No joke, they showed up with a syringe about the size and shape of a Pringles can. My jaw dropped and I said, “You’re not injecting all of that into me, right?” I started to be relieved when they said “No,” and really freaked when they said, “We’ll be injecting three of these into you,”
They slowly injected the first syringe into my vein. I don’t know how it did this, but it literally went straight into my bladder. I went from empty bladder to “must pee NOW” in the ten seconds it took for them to inject this. I asked to go to the bathroom, and they said, no, as they were beginning to shoot images. Then it was time for the second syringe of dye. After this one, I had to puke. Bad. I could tell this wasn’t just nausea that would go away, it would only be relieved by vomiting. I asked again if I could go to the bathroom, and again, they said no, still shooting.
I guess I should have expected where the third dye dose would go, but I didn’t. All of a sudden, I had to take a dump worse than I’d ever had to before in my life. I could also feel that the laxatives had decided to do their job at the exact same moment. I was shaking so hard, and crying (closed mouthed to stop immanent pukage). I literally felt like I was going to explode. I had to stay like that for another few minutes while they finished up. don’t know how I managed to not disgrace myself there. As soon as they said to get up, I was in the bathroom. I don’t remember covering the space between the room and the bathroom, I was just there. As I was slamming my butt into position, I grabbed the litle wastebasket that was in the corner, and then, for five minutes, pissed, crapped and puked, all at the same time.
After I was sure I was empty (and probably ten pounds lighter), I put my clothes on and crawled out to the waiting room. My friend, alarmed at how bad I looked, said that I could stay with him and his roommate until mty boyfriend got off work. Sure, I said. I was sure I was done. I mean, I couldn’t have anything else left in me, right?
My friend and his roommate had to go to another town about 50 miles away for something, so I went with them. Big mistake. Halfway there, I started puking, and I had to heave into an old Wal-Mart bag that I found on the floor, and they were frantically trying to find a gas station, as we were literally in the middle of nowhere. A Texaco came up over a hill, and we went straight there. Thank God it was not one of those ones they lock and you have to get the key from the attendant, or I’d have ruined my clothes.
After I get done hosing the dye out of my behind, I reached behind me to flush the toilet and….nothing happened. Nothing at all. I won’t go into detail, but I’d pretty much doubled the volume of fluid that had been in the bowl before I sat down, and it was really, really bad, not to mention slightly radioactive. I kept trying to flush, but nothing happened. I hate it when someone goes to a public bathroom and leaves their wastes behind without flushing, but I had no choice.
When I got out of the bathroom, I went over to tell the attendant the bathroom needed help, big time. He was busy flirting with two girls and he didn’t seem to appreciate the gravity of the situation. I mean, I just left a BIOHAZARD in the bathroom, and he was looking at me like I was a prima donna about the whole thing. We just left. I hope he got devoured by the radioactive poop Godzilla that likely emerged.
The worst part was later that day, when I called my mom to tell her what was up. If I could have strangled her through the phone I would have, as she told me, “Yeah, I had the same problem when I had an angiogram done. I had this delayed reaction to the laxatives, and I got really sick from the dye.” Nice of her to tell me this AFTER my tests, instead of before.
And then it turned out the whole medical problem was caused by a withdrawal off one of my medications, and the problem was solved by a month’s worth of the Pill. I never needed the pyleogram (or the camera up the bladder I got a few days later when the pyleogram came up negative), dye or laxatives in the first place, and it took something like 6 different doctors before one of them figured this out.
story number 2 by Tom
I got stuck with no TP while sitting in a bathroom at a public library. I happened to have been wearing shorts at the time, so I wasn’t about to take the risk that I’d be dropping crap as I walked out.
Luckily, the bathroom was completely empty. So, I flush and shuffle to the next stall hoping no one comes in at that moment and sees a nude 12-year-old boy in desperate need of TP. Guess what?
Some idiot locked the stall and left it that way. I shuffle over to the handicapped stall, find no TP in there either (I pity any handicapped dudes in that situation) and as I’m not about to slide under the stall door and get all manner of crap (not literally, but quite possibly) on me, I decide to be more daring.
Lucky for me, there’s a city newspaper published by a quasi-governmental organization that is kept on a rack just outside the door to the bathroom. I was forced to open the door, hiding all but my head behind the door before managing to snatch one and saving myself from the ignominy of crap-filled shorts while walking home from the library.
story number 3 by gobbledegook
I used to be in the boy scouts as a kid, and the worst experience ever was being out on a wilderness camping trip and having everyone simultaneously realize that no one brought any TP after we’d just hiked 15 miles to the camp site. Nobody was willing to hike another 30 miles (there and back again) just to get any, either.
At least there were a lot of leaves around… [/quote]
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg
Aequeosalinocalcalinoceraceoaluminosocupreovitriolic
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
Did somebody say long?
[/quote]
the long story is the funnest story i have heard on the internet.[/quote]
lol there are a ton more where that came from *looks in my documents folder which contains literally hundreds to thousands of stories.*[/quote]
THIS IS A BIG QUOTE loll
lllllllllllll
l
l
j[/quote]
No we are doing it wrong!
We are supposed to quote from the person above us! not the epic story!!!!! [/quote]
well, just let's limit to a sentence or something like that
it gets really stupid if you just say:
a
a
a
but if you want length....then:
BLOODY HELL THAT THING IS LONG ! [/quote]
What do you think the idea of this thread is ?
[/quote]
Why the " " its the off-topic section, it's ok to spam here ![/quote]
.[/quote]
Wow Ace that was loooooooooooooongggggggggg ....
@ John_lawson :
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...