Build your own. Not illegal to own a billion watt ( if you could fit it in a handheld) handheld in the usa. It is however illegal to use them irresponsibly. It is also illegal to import them with a sticker not showing their true class. One of the things I like about the more shady china and russia sellers online. they label a 500mw as a >1mw and sell it to you for a few more bucks than a cat toy laser. lol. Great source of cheap diodes when ya buy in bulk. Building your own is actually really easy, I suggest trying that. That way you get the color, the power, and the spot you want.