If you're seeing copper on your soldering iron tip YOU'VE DAMAGED IT. The copper is only there to transfer heat, but it's a poor metal for actually dispensing solder. That's why the tips are nickel plated. The only reason you should ever sand or file a soldering iron is if you've already ruined it and you want to get a little more use out of it in desperation before you throw it away for a new one.
Keep your soldering iron tinned (i.e. covered in solder) at all times. When you first buy a soldering iron, the first thing you should do is coat the tip in solder (feed it). Put a blob of solder on the end of your soldering iron any time you're going to leave it for more than a minute (and that includes turning it off). The flux cleans the tip, the solder protects it from oxidizing. Wipe it off on your wet sponge when you're ready to do the actual soldering, and put a new blob on when you're not. When you do wipe off the blob after some time when you're ready to solder again, look at how gross and leathery the blob looks. Now imagine that happening to your iron when left in the air. Treat your tips right by coating them at all times!
Your soldering iron tip should last nearly forever when treated right. The wire tip cleaners are only there to catch and wipe off debris, and should not be used to the point that it is abrasive to the tip. It's probably not even necessary if you have a sponge.