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Alaskan

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I looked at some nearby cities which require a commute, but much cheaper and what I found is they are full of thugs and violence. The cheaper places attract the individuals who can't afford to live in the expensive places, and due to that, they are safer and others suffer far more. I'm so bummed tonight, this is really bad to go through now. That, and my boss offered a fairly large raise to stay here. I want that job, I don't want these problems. I already delayed these folk once before and now I'm thinking this! OMG.

Look at these prices: https://sandiego.craigslist.org/d/apts-housing-for-rent/search/apa
 
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Encap

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From what I am finding online, rent for a decent place in SD is about 2500 a month, ouch. Recommended minimum income is 80K a year for an individual, and for a family of four, close to 100K a year. I'm finding all of the taxes and high rent discouraging, it's the 5th most expensive city in the USA to live in. Now I'm questioning my whole plan again :(

I'm getting an understanding of why they came back to me a second time, no one will take the job. Spend an hour researching living there on YouTube and you will get a headache. I really wanted to work with that technology, but hit a low on the idea tonight.
Not good news on the living costs side.
Would be a good idea to call the employer and discuss with them and see if they can do anything for you moneywise at least for the time you will be in San Diego to offset the very high cost of living there because you took a decrease in pay to participate and did not know ahead of time about the silly high costs to be there.
If difficult or not possible to do at the outset/now before you are employed and in the middle of doing the work, ask if once you get going with them it would be a possible to adjust your pay to compensate for the high cost of being in San Diego. Maybe they have a relocation service in house or that they use that can be helpful.
Just a few thoughts.

PS Check out Craig's list for San Diego
 

Alaskan

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God I was on such a high yesterday about this job, today in the gutter. I've already tried to get more, they gave 4K more instead of the 20 I asked for saying that was the best they could do. Seems I'm locked in now, or walk and ethically, I don't want to do that to them now, but if I don't figure something out, they are going to be very disgusted with me. I won't wait more than a week to see a way to make this work because I need to either shyt, or get off the pot soon.. Forgive my language, even if misspelled.

Here are some rooms which aren't too expensive, but then your stuff is subject to others, if they wanted to:

 
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Cyparagon

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Nothing is certain until it is.
Channeling your inner Yogi? Others by him

"You can observe a lot by just watching"
"Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken. "
"You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you. "

Or was this meant as a deepity?
 

paul1598419

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At least you don't have any family coming with you, Chris. That would be so much worse. I would think very hard before backing out of the MIT deal again. That could follow you for the rest of your life in ways you can't imagine right now.
 

RedCowboy

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I would be honest with the MIT guy, tell him how much more you make now and how much more it will cost you to live in SD, that you want the job but were shocked to discover how high the cost of living is and that you have to plan for your future, remember you are not building a career, you want to retire in a few years so I recommend getting as much money socked away as possible.

We all want to do fun stuff but you should think about your future, I would love to hear about your new MIT job, but.....I would rather you look out for yourself and do what works the best to achieve your goal of retirement with a little security, I don't want to jinx anything but your Ukraine home could see future trouble and you may decide that you and your wife want to pick up and go in a hurry, so if the MIT guy really needs you he needs to pay you what you're worth and that's what you make now plus any added living expenses to stay in SD and in a decent place reasonably close to the job.
 

Alaskan

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Thank you for your input, I'm questioning my motivations and what is important now. This is very bad to go through, I thought I had settled all of this in my mind already, but I woke up the other morning from being all jazzed up about this job the evening before with a foreboding feeling about it due to the high cost of living as well as what I earn now. No way can they pay what I earn now, it's twice as much, the DOE sponsor won't permit it.

If I rent a room in someones home, which is fairly common in San Diego now with an average small house selling between 500-600K, doing so I could probably keep the rent down to between 750-1000 a month, it's just I can't bring my wife who is living out of the USA right now and live that way and if I do bring her, it's not going to be very nice for either of us and a paycheck to paycheck situation.

I could perhaps work a second job to bring my wife, she doesn't have the skill set to earn much herself, so that isn't really an option. I see a lot of advertisements where businesses are looking for good RF people both full time on second shifts as well as some part time shift work, that could bridge the financial gap. But again, what the hell am I thinking? For what? Well, I know for what, I want to work at that science facility with these awesome people. That's how I feel, now the question is do I really need to feel fulfilled or be more financially stable? I could perhaps work a second job to bring my wife, she doesn't have the skill set to earn much herself, so that isn't really an option.

There are a lot of second shift jobs in my career field as well as some part time shift work, that could bridge the financial gap. But again, what the hell am I thinking? For what? Well, I know for what, I want to work on that project with these awesome people. That's how I feel, now the question is do I really need to feel fulfilled or be more financially stable? I have a retirement from I can draw on in five years, as well as social security. This is such a huge opportunity, yet I'm overwhelmed by the cost of living at that location and don't want to drive an hour a day each way to and from work fighting traffic.

This lady sums up the problems pretty well:

 
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paul1598419

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People will give you all sorts of advice on this, but in the end, it is your decision and you will have to live with that. I wish you luck.
 

Alaskan

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No way to know which decision is the right one, this job could be taken over by another employer under competitive bid in Sept, and when that happens, almost always lower pay. Right now my boss offered 12K more to stay.
 

RedCowboy

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Chris, what would you tell someone else to do ?
What if I was in your shoes and asked you what I should do, knowing I want to retire soon ?
Sometimes that's the best way to think about it, What would you tell someone else to do ?

As far as the project it will be going on for a long time, after 5 years you may retire and it will still be ongoing and what would you think then ? Would you wish you had taken the bigger paycheck ?

You know the amount beyond living expenses that you can actually save may be very small if you move to SD, that makes the amount you could save at your current job in the next 5 years worth as much as what ........30 years maybe more at the SD job ? Also you can read about the technology once it's perfected while you retire in comfort and spend some of those earnings on very cool lasers and fun for you and the wife, really think about how much the SD job will cost, not just now but later, and ask yourself what you would tell someone else.
 

Encap

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Looks like a no go unless you are really willing to make a large/huge sacrifice in life style, comfort, and other things that require $s to work on the MIT project + other aspects retirement, wife, basic happiness, ability to have/enjoy the things money can enable and so on.
Ask yourself would you be willing to pay the MIT group 50% of what you are earning now to work on their project? That is what it amounts to from what you are saying + the higher cost of everything in the San Diego area which reduces the buying power of any pay you do receive.
 

paul1598419

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True, but he also said the job with the DOD is changing hands and that means a reduction in pay, so.............
 

Encap

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"No way to know which decision is the right one, this job could be taken over by another employer under competitive bid in Sept, and when that happens, almost always lower pay. Right now my boss offered 12K more to stay. "
The job may not be taken over by another employer --in which case you would be golden with the job you have now and the increase.
As you say no way to know for sure---all you can go on is past experience about what happens if.

Not a happy place to be in choice wise. A 50% pay cut and to be in a place that is overall a lot more expensive, at least $25K more, is a lot to ask of anyone---too much for most people unless the prospect of making a lot higher pay rate in the new job over time and with experience was on the near future horizon.

Can the MIT/GA program hold out the prospect that once you are employed doing the work, that in 6 months a pay raise is possible? That would be another factor in the mix if so. Can't hurt to ask if the position/task is a dead end/fixed fee available type thing or if advancement and higher pay are possible in the short term future

Best wishes to you, whichever way you decide to go job-wise.
 

Alaskan

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I've probably blown it now asking about wages in an email today, the time to ask that, or point that out is before accepting, not after. Probably not well received doing that, and if so, I've removed a lot of brownie points before even starting, discouraging. All in all, I think I've failed before starting due to turning it down once, and now this. Probably ought to just forget it and be "that guy". Word today is the contract is good for at least 18 more months with this employer.
 

Encap

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I don't think you have blown it. Am sure they comprehend you are trying to/want to take the job but have to come to terms with the excessively expensive leg of the job in San Diego not having considered that area prior in your enthusiam about the job.
Whether or not they can or will offer you more remains to be seen.
You could ask them what the expected duration is for the work in Massachusetts at MIT before moving to San Diego is necessary and if higher pay would be available when the job moves to San Diego area as a viability determining piece of information

Guess you will hear back from them soon enough from as to if they find a deeper pocket somewhere.
In the meantime 18 months more at your current job w. the increase, company paid apartment and car sounds pretty attractive.
 

Alaskan

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Agreed, I have thrown the ball in their court, I just couldn't say I can't come because I did that before, but it was for the same reason. The reason I accepted this time around was because I decided I could find a way to make it work and accepted again, but the more I dig into this the worse it looks. So, due to the past actions on my part, I had to give them the option of finding a solution. The transfer from Boston to SD would be in January. This position was supposed to be filled over six months ago and in part, hasn't due to me.
 




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