No, this is a serious question. It's not a food issue; they've been using parts of my yard as a latrine. It's gotten to the point where I can't let my dogs out without the risk of a serious confrontation. I'd like to deter them humanely, and I've researched lots of options and have tried a variety of them with limited success. I did do a search here before I posted and only found one related set of posts, and it seemed to be about a guy on a bicycle. I'm not a troll or a kid, just a guy with a problem trying to think of out-of-the-box options.