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happytomato said:Chuck norris is:
HOW DARE YOU! lol
If you have a 200mW laser and Chuck Norris has a 200mW laser, chuck norris has a more powerful laser
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The CHUCK NORRIS Thread!!
- Thread starter Switch
- Start date
HOW DARE YOU! lol
If you have a 200mW laser and Chuck Norris has a 200mW laser, chuck norris has a more powerful laser
happytomato, I wouldn't say that, I bet you're gonna get a nice roundhouse-kicking visit today.
Chuck Norris can give you a headshot by firing to your knee, although Chuck Norris never uses fire guns, ever.
Chuck Norris can make a white laser with magenta, cyan and yellow.
Chuck Norris can give you a headshot by firing to your knee, although Chuck Norris never uses fire guns, ever.
Chuck Norris can make a white laser with magenta, cyan and yellow.
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Chuck Norris vs Bruce Lee vs Starecat
Switch
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OMG, I just discovered this! I bet some of you knew it already.Just try entering "find chuck norris" in the google search box and click "I'm feeling lucky".....lets just say you won't feel so lucky if you dare :
OMG
switch, you earn "coolest google search of the year"!!!
that was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!
"Suggestions:
Run, before he finds you"
ahahaha so true..
Chuck Norris never gets hit by a reflecting beam, the reflecting beam asks him if he wants his clothes washed, a dish of hippies to eat and some magma to play with his hands and his fist under his beard.
i can post a whole Chuck Norris post if you want, just gimme the OK
switch, you earn "coolest google search of the year"!!!
that was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!
"Suggestions:
Run, before he finds you"
ahahaha so true..
Chuck Norris never gets hit by a reflecting beam, the reflecting beam asks him if he wants his clothes washed, a dish of hippies to eat and some magma to play with his hands and his fist under his beard.
i can post a whole Chuck Norris post if you want, just gimme the OK
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Here's some...
When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
In a fight between Batman, Superman and Spiderman, Chuck Norris wins.
Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse and invented giraffes.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
If Chuck Norris ever has sex with a man, it's not because he's gay, it's because he's run out of women.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris went into a Burger King, ordered a Big Mac, and got one.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips his fucking head off.
Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.
Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!
When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
In a fight between Batman, Superman and Spiderman, Chuck Norris wins.
Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse and invented giraffes.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
If Chuck Norris ever has sex with a man, it's not because he's gay, it's because he's run out of women.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris went into a Burger King, ordered a Big Mac, and got one.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips his fucking head off.
Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.
Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!
):
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U know they had to bring a stunt double for that scene :
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hey VI that sh&% was funny
CHUCK NORRIS PUNKED OUT THE BIONIC MAN AND TOOK HIS LUNCH MONEY
CHUCK NORRIS PUNKED OUT THE BIONIC MAN AND TOOK HIS LUNCH MONEY
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
DANGER: Chuck Norris Radiation Avoid Dirrect Eye Contact
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
DANGER: Chuck Norris Radiation Avoid Dirrect Eye Contact
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I did, that has to be one of the best things ever published! To be honest I haven't laughed that hard in a while, my family looked at me funny when they saw me laughing like crazy at the computer screen!nikokapo said:i think nobody read the pics
it took me some work *snif*
Umm...
Chuck Norris can fry ants with a magnifying glass... at night.
Chuck Norris can unscramble scrambled eggs.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo was hiding.
Awesome was invented because Chuck Norris went on vacation, and people needed some pitiful excuse for a substitute.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.
Chuck Norris can fry ants with a magnifying glass... at night.
Chuck Norris can unscramble scrambled eggs.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo was hiding.
Awesome was invented because Chuck Norris went on vacation, and people needed some pitiful excuse for a substitute.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.