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black or white lasers

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Excluding white lasers think through what is wrong with the idea of a black beam producing laser.
 
The short answer is no (for black). But if the demand for a black laser must be satisfied, here are my ideas:

1) A non-visible wavelength laser would be indistinguishable from a black laser in a pitch dark room.

2) An "inverted laser". Basically a bright flashlight with an intentional negative space where the "beam" would be, or in other words a "collimated shadow", with white light enclosing a tight cylinder of darkness. Not entirely sure how this would be done optically if at all possible.

I'll see myself out
 
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