I can tell you now that the disconnect between communication and perception is a huge part of this. There is also the fact that different people perceive the same wavelength differently.
To my eyes 383nm looks the "most" violet to me; the least "gray" tinge that UV has and the least "blueing" of higher wavelengths. The ~417nm that most "405nm" sources put out still looks rather blue to me.
Thanks for the info about what 383nm looks like to you. The published literature just say 395 ±5, but that means only about half of people tested fall within that range.
If you look at the hue discrimination curve on this graph (
Physiology of the Eye - Hugh Davson - Google Books) you'll see that it tends to be pretty weak in the violet.
Your claim of what wavelength 405s are does not quite coincide with the results obtained by others here at LPF who have tested them with digital spectrometers. Of course they are not all spot on. In fact, it's nice when someone can tell me the tested wavelength of their laser instead of just what the ad said.
The idea that people see wavelengths differently is an urban legend based on a little bit of science. Of course it's not an all-or-nothing proposition, but it's not nearly as true as people think. As for the alleged disconnect between color names and perceived hues, that's true if you try to assigned a wavelength to every named spectral color and vice versa.
For example, cyan is all over the map, not just in English, but in nearly all the world's cultures and languages. However, just because you can't a counter-example doesn't mean it can't work for other hues. In fact, there's a whole science devoted to how accurately a color name can be connected to a hue. The answer depends, more than anything else. on what color you're talking about. Not on differences in perception. Not on cultural or linguistic differences. All those other things play a secondary role: the main thing is "which color is it?"
What complicates these discussions is when the naive version of a science was contradicted long ago, and where the refutation has been widely publicized, but where the latest science shows that the naive version was not as wrong as was previously supposed.