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Post your "Chinglish" quotes!

Sta

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Hello folks!
Inspired by the unforgettable quote in my signature, I decided to make this thread.
I'll start it off with this:
A few years back I bought a "1W" RGB unit from a shady eBay seller. After the blue and green lasers died, I contacted the company and demanded a refund.
Their response:
Chinese eBay seller said:
Our lasers very truth,, every second child profiteers!

Next we have this company ("COW top-shopping mall") which made outrageous claims of 50000mW in handheld lasers. So I contacted them, asking them "Do you measure the power of your lasers with a laser power meter?"
I got this response:
rony white said:
this laser pointer can range to very long.
i can not measure it
I wasn't asking about distance!
So I flat-out asked him what the real power was.
His response:
rony white said:
we lie about power,
real power 1500mw
:wtf:


Finally, we have this exchange (read from the bottom up) with "zong wang" of a company called "Real power is 100%"!



Real power isn't 100%. :beer:


Please post your own exchanges with Chinese companies, or any other Chinglish you've seen. :beer:
 
Last edited:



Sta

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-green-laser-pointers-SDlaser-303-100000mw-100w-532nm-high-power-focusable-burn-match-burn-cigarettes/32366051630.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb201556_10,searchweb201602_2_10057_10056_10065_10068_10055_10067_10054_10069_10059_10058_10073_10017_10070_10060_10061_10052_10062_10053_10050_10051,searchweb201603_2&btsid=901bca26-1da7-4c03-829d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-green-laser-pointers-SDlaser-303-100000mw-100w-532nm-high-power-focusable-burn-match-burn-cigarettes/32366051630.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb201556_10,searchweb201602_2_10057_10056_10065_10068_10055_10067_10054_10069_10059_10058_10073_10017_10070_10060_10061_10052_10062_10053_10050_10051,searchweb201603_2&btsid=901bca26-1da7-4c03-829d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-green-laser-pointers-SDlaser-303-100000mw-100w-532nm-high-power-focusable-burn-match-burn-cigarettes/32366051630.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb201556_10,searchweb201602_2_10057_10056_10065_10068_10055_10067_10054_10069_10059_10058_10073_10017_10070_10060_10061_10052_10062_10053_10050_10051,searchweb201603_2&btsid=901bca26-1da7-4c03-829d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-green-laser-pointers-SDlaser-303-100000mw-100w-532nm-high-power-focusable-burn-match-burn-cigarettes/32366051630.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb201556_10,searchweb201602_2_10057_10056_10065_10068_10055_10067_10054_10069_10059_10058_10073_10017_10070_10060_10061_10052_10062_10053_10050_10051,searchweb201603_2&btsid=901bca26-1da7-4c03-829d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-green-laser-pointers-SDlaser-303-100000mw-100w-532nm-high-power-focusable-burn-match-burn-cigarettes/32366051630.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb201556_10,searchweb201602_2_10057_10056_10065_10068_10055_10067_10054_10069_10059_10058_10073_10017_10070_10060_10061_10052_10062_10053_10050_10051,searchweb201603_2&btsid=901bca26-1da7-4c03-829d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-green-laser-pointers-SDlaser-303-100000mw-100w-532nm-high-power-focusable-burn-match-burn-cigarettes/32366051630.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb201556_10,searchweb201602_2_10057_10056_10065_10068_10055_10067_10054_10069_10059_10058_10073_10017_10070_10060_10061_10052_10062_10053_10050_10051,searchweb201603_2&btsid=901bca26-1da7-4c03-829d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-green-laser-pointers-SDlaser-303-100000mw-100w-532nm-high-power-focusable-burn-match-burn-cigarettes/32366051630.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb201556_10,searchweb201602_2_10057_10056_10065_10068_10055_10067_10054_10069_10059_10058_10073_10017_10070_10060_10061_10052_10062_10053_10050_10051,searchweb201603_2&btsid=901bca26-1da7-4c03-829d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-green-laser-pointers-SDlaser-303-100000mw-100w-532nm-high-power-focusable-burn-match-burn-cigarettes/32366051630.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb201556_10,searchweb201602_2_10057_10056_10065_10068_10055_10067_10054_10069_10059_10058_10073_10017_10070_10060_10061_10052_10062_10053_10050_10051,searchweb201603_2&btsid=901bca26-1da7-4c03-829d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015-green-laser-pointers-SDlaser-303-100000mw-100w-532nm-high-power-focusable-burn-match-burn-cigarettes/32366051630.html?ws_ab_test=searchweb201556_10,searchweb201602_2_10057_10056_10065_10068_10055_10067_10054_10069_10059_10058_10073_10017_10070_10060_10061_10052_10062_10053_10050_10051,searchweb201603_2&btsid=901bca26-1da7-4c03-829d-b12db8b6c101
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????laser 301 laser laser pointer laser torch ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????laser
Looks like we've attracted a spammer. Fantastic. :D
 
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Hap

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Hahaha that's pretty funny. Selling a 10000000mW 532 handheld :crackup:

-Alex
 

Sta

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Today I got this monstrosity from a random aliexpress seller who somehow found my e-mail address. I have no idea what it means, and I've never dealt with the guy before. :confused:
Russel said:
Now it is the led times,in COLORFUL LIGHT family have twins brother born.Welcome to our family.
 

thanhtung

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Selling a 10000000mW 532 handheld :)) it is wrong! ^^
 

WizardG

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Selling a 10000000mW 532 handheld :)) it is wrong! ^^
Damn right it is! If I ever have a 1kW 532 handheld I'd NEVER sell it :D
 

GSS

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

I get a kick out of "rony white" wonder what his real name is:thinking:
This is "very truth" funny thread:)
 
Last edited:

trencheel303

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

This thread is just what I needed lol thanks.

Reminds me of that engrish.com website.
 

Sta

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Thanks folks. I was hoping some other people would have stuff to post but I suppose I am fine on my own. :D
 

Hap

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Thanks folks. I was hoping some other people would have stuff to post but I suppose I am fine on my own. :D
If you are ever having a bad day those Chinglish phrases are sure to bring a smile :)

-Alex
 

BowtieGuy

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

For some of the newer guys who may not have seen it, there is a another related thread to this "Chinese company quotes" thread, it's the "Post your Chinglish FAILS here" thread; it's also pretty funny! :D
 

GSS

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Thanks folks. I was hoping some other people would have stuff to post but I suppose I am fine on my own. :D
Well iv'e only dealt with 2 China based company's, and for a few customer service issue's one was for a DOA green pointer and they wanted a pic of it not working:whistle: and the same with a pair of red laser safety glasses that did absolutely nothing from Fastech but nothing funny only that they didn't come damaged and weren't replaceable. I guess I could of sent them a pic of my eye's all red:rolleyes:
 
Last edited:

WizardG

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

One of my favorites was a warning label on one of the chiller units here @ work. The label had the same warnings in several languages. The intended message: Avoid prolonged breathing of vapor. The translation: Do not suck long time steam.
 

Merpie101

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Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

when i had my red laser 303, the label on the focusing thingy said
"Not allowed the beam directly to the eye exposure"
thought that was kinda funny, showed some friends and stuff and it was great :p
 

Sta

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I changed the title; would a moderator please move this to the "Other" section?
 

ElectricPlasma

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I know I've seen Hap combine threads before, should just do the same with this one and combine it with the old one.
 




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