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Alternate Scammer Theory

Murudai

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All this talk on the forums lately about 'you scammer me this' and 'you didn't send that out', etc. has got me thinking. When one legit guy goes and accuses another legit guy of scamming.. wtf? Somethings not right here...


So lets think about the laser selling process for a bit.

Person A - "i haz lazerz."
Person B - "i am is wanting lazerz and i haz moneyz"
Person A - "u giv me moneyz, i send you lazerz"
Person B - "moneyz is has sent"
Person A - "lazerz shipped"
---- Wait ----
Person B - "i haz lazerz!"
Person A - "i haz moneyz!"


But... what? Wait a second... what was that bit in the middle there? Something about 'shipping'...

Anyone ever thought about how we are sending our packages off to get examined by unknown postal people? I mean, think about it. It takes 1 day to fly around the world really, maybe 2. So what does your laser do on the other 10 days of it's crazy shipping times? (1-2 extra days if domestic).

So some unknown person is sitting with our lasers for days on end... hmmm ::)



Enter... the alternate scammer theory...


I propose that WE aren't the scammers, us good laser hobby folk. Oh no no. 'tis the POSTAL folks who are scamming us!

Think about it! What is the CONSISTENT factor in EVERY scam laser deal? SHIPPING :eek: :eek:

There are legit sellers here who have had problems with being accused of scamming. But if they are scammers, wouldn't other people have had trouble them? They obviously wouldn't be classified 'legit' would they? But they are! So they must be legit, so what is all the 'scamming' fiasco about?

That's right, SHIPPING.

Those filthy postal workers every so often find a great package that they want to steal. They just take right out of the satchel and in to their pockets!


But where did this come from? Why haven't people reported this because of the 'sweater' they sent their granddaughter, or the book they sent their estranged wife?

Well, I'll tell you why. Those things are BORING. Lasers on the other hand, are AWESOME. Postal workers don't flog the boring stuff, it isn't worth it to have the general public suspicious. So instead they ONLY steal lasers, OUR lasers. They can steal from just us and get away with it because we don't draw much attention to ourselves. Why? Laws, of course! Half of our shipping and lasers we build/sell aren't FDA approved or completely legal in our respective countries. If we started drawing attention to ourselves about lasers going missing, we'd get in trouble by the feds!

Thus the sneaky postal workers are safe to steal our precious lasers mid-shipment without fear of reprisal.

And of course, there is our infighting. We never consider the postal worker, they are secret, behind the scenes people that we never see. So for us it is much easier to blame the seller, the guy who 'maybe' never sent out the laser in the first place! But of course, they clearly did send the laser out! We've just made it easier for the postal workers to get away with it.


But I hear you say 'What about the laser that wasn't outputting to spec? It arrived to me fine, it just was crap?' etc. Well, this is where it all starts to fall in to place ;)

As soon as postal workers started stealing are cool lasers, they started generating an addiction to the lasers. They all became laser hobbyists themselves! I mean, who wouldn't? And what to all laser hobbyists crave? Why, quality parts, of course! To build great lasers!

So where can they get these parts from? Hmm, well I dunno... MAYBE the package they are SORTING at WORK!! The temptation of the awesome laser hobby was too great for these feeble minded public servants. They couldn't help themselves, they popped open every package they could to steal quality parts and replace them with junk.

This has gotten to be such a major problem that even the major sellers have been effected. Poor Warnlaser is one of the worst hit, every laser they try to send out has its quality parts replaced with cheap crap. And eBay, a popular target. All the many top quality lasers on eBay are hit on the postal run and replaced with the same junk.

The end result? We think they are scammers. The companies, the sellers here, we think they are scammers because the package doesn't show up, or it is bad quality / underspec.



So I propose the theory that laser addicted postal workers are who is really to blame behind scamming. Our lasers are so awesome that they cannot help themselves and steal our lasers and replace the quality parts with junk.

FACT: Lasers ARE awesome.
FACT: Every scam laser deal involves shipping. Coincidence? I think not.


Conspiracy.
 

daguin

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Murudai said:
FACT: Lasers ARE awesome.
FACT: Every scam laser deal involves shipping. Coincidence? I think not.
Conspiracy.
I'll get the paperwork started to get the committee to consider an inquisition

Peace,
dave
 

Cyparagon

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*ponders*... your initial postulated conversation veritably requires more 'Z's.

What percentage of all packages contain a laser?
 

daguin

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Cyparagon said:
*ponders*... your initial postulated conversation veritably requires more 'Z's.

What percentage of all packages contain a laser?
3/4 of one percent (+- .75%) of all packages contain at least one laser.

Peace,
dave
 

artix

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daguin

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Artix said:
Don't laugh . . . .They don't slip off this way.

You won't be laughing when yours slips off and they invade your mind before you can get it back on, will you?

Peace,
dave
 

Jimmymcjimthejim

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Rofl, that's some theory there. If it's true, we're going to have to find which companies are really trustworthy...
 

Murudai

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I dare anyone to try and prove me wrong, c'mon ;) Airtight conspiracy theory.

Oh, and for anyone who doesn't believe it... that's what THEY WANT you to think! :eek:
 

daguin

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Murudai said:
I dare anyone to try and prove me wrong, c'mon ;) Airtight conspiracy theory.

Oh, and for anyone who doesn't believe it... that's what THEY WANT you to think! :eek:

IS NOT!!!

heheheheheh -- beat THAT argument :cool:

Peace,
dave
 
J

jamie.91

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lmao i love this post its great lmao

--jamie

BTW since this post all stores are now in a "tin foil shortage" situation lmao
 




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