What would you do?

Im in a bit of a situation here, no matter how stupid or possibly immature it is... Can't actually belive it's driven me so far that I am posting it here :O. Advanced warning, girls, lies, back stabbing and insane anger following...

Right well I met this girl online and found out she lives near me and even goes the same college as me, so we got talking and aventually got to know each other and decided to meet. Now this is the first time I have really bothered getting to know someone that much and actually took her out a few places.

2 or so months later we finally decide to get together .

Now heres where things started going wrong... I never introduced her to my mates because I didn't trust them enough or want them to know about it at that moment in time.

But the information leaked out to me from one of my real friends that my mates had already goten my girlfriends msn, phone number and everything from my facebook profile and were saying things to her. Them the bomb exploded and I found out that one of my mates actually said they should try to break me and my gf up... APPARENTLY he said he regretted saying it but thats not what I see from my angle.

3 weeks into the relationship we broke up because I am simply too busy to see her as much as she wanted... and we decided to stay as friends... or thats what I thought...

2 days after we broke up... guess whos suddenly got with her?! The same person who said they should split me and her up! To make it worse I actually asked him face to face who his girlfriend was and he told me she asked him out when in fact it was the other way round. At that point I think my blood actually boiled! From that point more information kept coming and a little while later I found out the reason we broke up was not only because I couldn't see her all the time but the people I thought were my mates has been talking to her behind my back.

Now considering I never introduced her to them, which means they shouldn't even know her and now they are together I was actually going mental...

Its now about 2 months away since it all happened and I am over her but still I can't help but care about her. I haven't spoken to the people I thought were my mates for quite a while now, only talking to them if they directly talk to me and even then its a quick blunt answer. Worst thing is I have been lied to yet again and he went round to hers on Monday and I just found the pictures on facebook... and yet again I am getting pissed off.

All in all the people I thought were my mates have:
* Lied to my face
* Went behind my back
* Kept secrets from me
* Stolen my girlfriend
* Think everything is funny and its a big joke

Now I don't care how wrong this is but I actually want him to suffer, I actually considered doing a few things... Just my brain is intent on revenge but my body keeps saying no when I have the chance. Funny how I had left a few comments on my facebook profile and msn name and he actually avoided me yesterday (think he has actually shit himself) and two out of the group of 10 or so of who I thought were my mates actually tried talking to me again.

What would you do in this situation? Thats assuming you bothered to read all this. I can't forgive any of them and I no longer trust anyone at all, in fact I have no respect for any of them.

Edit: Could have sworn I posted this in the right place :S Moderators move at will!

Man you go screwed over lol, i feel your pain, I would beat your friends ass IMO, jk, it depends on how well you like your friend, I need to finish my work, I'm in class right now... Calculus 104 sucks lol.

XCreedX said:

Man you go screwed over lol, i feel your pain, I would beat your friends ass IMO, jk, it depends on how well you like your friend, I need to finish my work, I'm in class right now... Calculus 104 sucks lol.

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Yeah as I said I want to but miss the opportunity haha. I have had other thoughts as well as hitting him... I won't go into that though.

You must forgive your mates, but that doesn't mean that you have to still be friends with them. A true friend would never do that to you. I feel your pain, because I too, have had the same thing happen to me.

It sucks to learn who your real friends are.

Bro's before Ho's.
Even though it was a friend of yours that got with her, she still said yes to your friend (and fast too!). There are too many girls out there that are like her, finding a good one is the challenge. Consider yourself lucky to find out very early on, before you invested any serious time into her. Most likely she will end up doing the same thing to your friend too (maybe you will end up tappin' it still?). That would be better than punching your friend,IMO. Or, maybe she has a cute girlfriend?
Also, I just noticed that you took two months to get together with her and she hooked up with your friend, who found her info on your facebook, even faster. This puts her in the "hit it and quit it" category anyways. Don't let it drive you nuts. You deserve better.

I hope I didn't upset you. I know there are a lot of cool girls out there who would be easy to have feelings for...I've met plenty of cool strippers that fit this category, and I tend to look at them all like they are strippers now. It's safer that way for me.

Take it easy.

yep Coldstl is correct on this one ,its a bad situation your friend sure stuck the knife in your back pretty deep though just hit it then forget it she's not worth it and at least you found that out before your relationship got any deeper than it could have
your lucky hopefully it doesn't break your heart and you can move on
but an a$$ whippin to your bro would have been manditory from me but then again i always end up in jail for that kinda stuff .....

iskor12 said:

You must forgive your mates, but that doesn't mean that you have to still be friends with them. A true friend would never do that to you. I feel your pain, because I too, have had the same thing happen to me.

It sucks to learn who your real friends are.

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I can never forgive them for that, we were mates for 2 years... Right from when I first started college, I actually trusted them and now every time I hear their voice, especially his, see him, see a picture on facebook, see him sign in... all I feel is pure anger.

ColdStl said:

Bro's before Ho's.
Even though it was a friend of yours that got with her, she still said yes to your friend (and fast too!). There are too many girls out there that are like her, finding a good one is the challenge. Consider yourself lucky to find out very early on, before you invested any serious time into her. Most likely she will end up doing the same thing to your friend too (maybe you will end up tappin' it still?). That would be better than punching your friend,IMO. Or, maybe she has a cute girlfriend?
Also, I just noticed that you took two months to get together with her and she hooked up with your friend, who found her info on your facebook, even faster. This puts her in the "hit it and quit it" category anyways. Don't let it drive you nuts. You deserve better.

I hope I didn't upset you. I know there are a lot of cool girls out there who would be easy to have feelings for...I've met plenty of cool strippers that fit this category, and I tend to look at them all like they are strippers now. It's safer that way for me.

Take it easy.

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She has already broke up with him, she broke up after less time than I did with her. She said to me that she's sorry about it and didn't know what she was thinking. For a while she hated him as well, and yet again I was lied to... people you don't like wont be invited around your house and then put up pictures on facebook of them 2 in bed now do they.

What me and her had was pretty good, we only broke up because I am always busy with college, work and driving and because of what everyone was saying behind my back.

True there are other people out there but that still don't change the fact of the constant reminder of everything that happened which is sort of the trigger for my anger.

Hes one of those people that turn everything into a competition and always thinks he knows best.

john_lawson said:

yep Coldstl is correct on this one ,its a bad situation your friend sure stuck the knife in your back pretty deep though just hit it then forget it she's not worth it and at least you found that out before your relationship got any deeper than it could have
your lucky hopefully it doesn't break your heart and you can move on
but an a$$ whippin to your bro would have been manditory from me but then again i always end up in jail for that kinda stuff .....

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It went deep and destroyed everything I accomplished. As I said I never really bothered that much before but I wanted her so much I kept at it until it worked out and we were both happy... then despite everything I did to keep him out of it he came along and took it from me.

How can I move on from that?

As for kicking his ass, its really tempting but it would be much more interesting to take what he loves away from him... ie. his car.

Classic scenario. Your 'mate' as you put it is and was not your mate. He has always been an enemy, you just never knew it until now. That's how these things work.

My only advice to you is this old saying: "F**k me once, shame on you. F**k me twice.. shame on me." Ditch 'em both and don't look back.

lamborgini8 said:

* Stolen my girlfriend

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She's a person, not an item anyone can "steal". You didn't have time for her, so she looked (and went) elsewhere. Stop blaming others and start growing up.

You can't really say that this caught you completely by surprise, though. After all, you didn't want your mates to meet her (or her to meet your mates) for a reason, right? So, it's pretty obvious that the trust wasn't there to begin with.

F?ck 'em both. (Not literally, though -- unless you're into that. No judgments here.)

You've obviously got a lot going on, and wasting your time and energy on this kind of bullsh!t isn't getting you anywhere. She's too "easy" to make a fuss over, and he can't be trusted. Just move on and cut your losses.

This kind of thing, in the long run, is actually a great experience because it shows you who your real friends are & what "kind" of girl is wrong for you.

dr-ebert said:

She's a person, not an item anyone can "steal". You didn't have time for her, so she looked (and went) elsewhere. Stop blaming others and start growing up.

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That was referring to his own way of phrasing things.

Mr_Lazo said:

You can't really say that this caught you completely by surprise, though. After all, you didn't want your mates to meet her (or her to meet your mates) for a reason, right? So, it's pretty obvious that the trust wasn't there to begin with.

F?ck 'em both. (Not literally, though -- unless you're into that. No judgments here.)

You've obviously got a lot going on, and wasting your time and energy on this kind of bullsh!t isn't getting you anywhere. She's too "easy" to make a fuss over, and he can't be trusted. Just move on and cut your losses.

This kind of thing, in the long run, is actually a great experience because it shows you who your real friends are & what "kind" of girl is wrong for you.

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I didn't want them to meet her because of past incidents... mainly last year, I let slip that I liked this girl who I seen around college... Next thing I know they are all talking to her before I even got to say hi.

That's why I didn't want them to know.

Irony is that the group of about 10 people have all split up now for loads of different reasons. Yet I found out today that im not the only one who he has been back stabbing and lieing to, it just seams I got hit the worst.

abadcaffeinetrip said:

My vote is for ElektroFreak's response. They both screwed you over. There is no reason to forgive them and no reason to forget it.

The root problem is not that he stole your GF. The problem is that he didn't see anything wrong with it.

She didn't see anything wrong with leaving you and going with your friend. Not as big as an offense, but still in bad taste.

They are both guilty and if the sound of either of their voices pisses you off, then cut them off.

Now, on to the fun part of your post: What to do about it. Are you looking for good pranks? Some way to publicly humiliate them? I say just buy your former friend's name.com and post photos, full details and let people who google him find that. Who doesn't google a potential GF/BF nowdays? Just keep it factual.

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True they were both in the wrong for doing that but at least she admitted she was wrong and shouldn't have done it and even apologized... where as he is acting as if nothings wrong.

I would rather go for a prank than setting up a site. I have enough experience to get a damn good site up but then I wouldn't bother paying the money for the hosting and the domain... which has my details attached to.

However as I said above a few posts he took what I cared about the most from me so I should do the same thing to him. He seams to love his crappy 1.1 litre car and is always boasting about it so the most evil thing I can think of without damaging the car is covering the windscreen in baby oil. You can't wash it off without smearing it everywhere and making it worse, you cant use your windscreen washers as the water just runs off and tyring your wipers will smear it even more and cover the wipers as well.

All women need lots and lots of attention. I have had to learn this from experience. A great girl I am still in love with, we were together for 2 years. she didn't cheat or leave me for another person but as time went on all our fights were about me not giving her enough time emotionally. until she blew up on day and left me. We just started talking again and this is how i now know what i was doing wrong. It is easier to understand the big picture when you don't feel attacked. So my advice is to be cool and just listen to her. That is if you care about her and really do want to be with her.

chipdouglas said:

All women need lots and lots of attention. I have had to learn this from experience. A great girl I am still in love with, we were together for 2 years. she didn't cheat or leave me for another person but as time went on all our fights were about me not giving her enough time emotionally. until she blew up on day and left me. We just started talking again and this is how i now know what i was doing wrong. It is easier to understand the big picture when you don't feel attacked. So my advice is to be cool and just listen to her. That is if you care about her and really do want to be with her.

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Bit late for that now, as I said we broke up quite a while back.

Just had some more info come to surface now the entire group has split up because of secrecy and everything... Apparently she was seeing him when I was going out with her, which was my original suspicion, yet she seams to tell me the opposite of that.

See what I mean, I cant let it go and forget about it because I still don't know all the facts and I am still being lied to.

Now thats came to surface I think Monday, when I will see him next, will be interesting. It's time to end the lies and to be honest I don't care how I get the rest of the information out of him and going by this weeks events I don't think anyone out of the old group will stop me.

Well the only other advice I can share is, do what ever is gonna make you feel good again!!!