I usually take them both out. Once they are out it is easy to tell which one is the red one. Typically it is the one WITHOUT the lens assembly on the front of it.
You could always apply low current to each one and see which one gives off red light.
DO NOT LOOK INTO THE DIODE WHEN YOU DO THIS!!! If you power up the IR diode and look into it you may PERMANENTLY damage your eyes!
First of all, cut back on the caffeine. ;D This isn't a chat room.
If you could post a picture it would be easier to give appropriate suggestions. Until then we will have to guess.
I often get them to come out by grabbing each side of the case with small pliers and twisting in opposite directions. If this doesn't work you may have to make a cut in the bracket they are in.
What do you plan to do with the diode? Do you have a circuit to drive it with? If you do, hook that sucker up! If not, you might as well stop right where you are and get or make one.
dont do that minimag laser, it WILL fry your diode, learn how to put together a simple lm317 circuit and use that, it will keep you from breaking that $25 diode.