If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers

If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers

General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers -- but imagine if they did....
Call No. 1

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"

HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."

CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"
Call No. 2

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"

HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"

CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"

HELPLINE: "There's a little guage on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?"

CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"

HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."

CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $$12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"
Call No. 3

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Your car sucks!"

HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"

HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"

CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't start!"

HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?"

CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn't crash anymore!"
Call No. 4

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."

HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"


Ask any support tech: they'll tell you these are not exaggerations!

"What!? I paid $$12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"


Thats some funny stuff niko!

Ha ha, that's awesome!

That was great! Tech help line people must feel so pessimistic, based on the wide swath of idiots that call them on a daily basis.

However, on another note, it took a tech help line 45 minutes to tell me that I cannot use my computer as a monitor for Final Fantasy 7. She was firmly convinced that the disk would run just fine inside the computer's disk drive, when I just wanted to plug in the A/V cables to the necessary ports and configure hardware if necessary. Long (45 minute) story short: it didn't.

-Mark

LMAO :barf::barf:

Lol i'd love to be tech support for a week
http://www.illwillpress.com/tech5522.html <- They have like 4 vids like this, rather crak up

"I only sleep when I put you on hold!" It is rather racist, but I guess people got to lighten up, I have had indian mates laugh at this so, if they can do it shouldn't see any "OMG RACIST VID" comments

I'm actually being tech support in a college all this week

So many daft questions like " How do I print in office 2007 " ( Bare in mind this was the HEAD of the IT department that asked this ) .

Wow that's sad

Yupp, there are ones just as bad and worse than that, can't think of them off the top of my head.

That's old-school! I remember seeing that years ago.. I'm an IT at a hospital here in StL, and that's the story of my life. How some of these doctors made it through medical school is beyond me. Half the time they can't even open an email without having major issues.

ElektroFreak said:

That's old-school! I remember seeing that years ago.. I'm an IT at a hospital here in StL, and that's the story of my life. How some of these doctors made it through medical school is beyond me. Half the time they can't even open an email without having major issues.

Click to expand...

That's what it's like in my Dads work. :undecided:

In my dads work their is a system to recover your password if you've forgotten it. It will ask you three questions that YOU enter the answers to to start off with.

The questions are :

Whats your birthday ?
Where were you born ?
What was your first school ?

You wouldn't believe it , but people ACTUALLY forget/don't know the answers to these! :undecided: These are people who are TEACHING others !

ElektroFreak said:

How some of these doctors made it through medical school is beyond me. Half the time they can't even open an email without having major issues.

Click to expand...

I guess they learned how to open people, not emails...

diachi said:

That's what it's like in my Dads work. :undecided:

In my dads work their is a system to recover your password if you've forgotten it. It will ask you three questions that YOU enter the answers to to start off with.

The questions are :

Whats your birthday ?
Where were you born ?
What was your first school ?

You wouldn't believe it , but people ACTUALLY forget/don't know the answers to these! :undecided: These are people who are TEACHING others !

Click to expand...

Oh yeah, I believe it. We have a similar system here and people can't remember the answers to their security questions either. Some of these are people who are practicing advanced medicine where people's lives are at stake.