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ArcticMyst Security by Avery

Some help, advice, or whatever...

Hiemal

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Hello guys.

I'm not normally one to beg, nor ask for assistance when it comes to these things but quite frankly, I'm scared.


I recently moved to Oregon, from New York to live with my fiancee in her parent's house. All has been well, but then today her mom had dropped the fact that, apparently, we'd need to move out by August to Corvallis (which is the college town we're planning on living at, to go to Oregon State University) because her brother needs the mattress I've been using. Apparently, the thought of me buying a mattress hasn't occurred to her and she seems relatively adamant about it. Oh, the reason why? Her mom hates her daughter with a passion. She finally gets a job today, and she is clearly less than excited because she responds with "Well, that sucks because you'll only have it for a couple months."



Then, later today, it seems that my fiancee's car has suddenly crapped out on us. We're not sure 100% what's wrong with it just yet but we're betting it's something to do with the fuel system, and it straight up just won't start.



I've been applying to jobs every single day since I've gotten here. I've had multiple interviews, but none have actually landed me a job just yet, and on top of that, if her mom truly expects us to move out by August any job that I have here will have been essentially, pointless. And moving to Corvallis, well, it's a college town, so there's not going to be many offers available to us at all. I only have about $1.7k saved up, which scares the everloving shit out of me because that's enough for about 1 month of apartment rent given the security deposit and everything else that goes into it.

Her mom isn't going to negotiate, and quite frankly she scares me.

Her car is broken so until then anything we do is kind of on hold, including the job that she was offered literally this morning.

I'm so stressed and frustrated and scared so much because all of this bad shit happens at once.


I don't know what to do.
 





Joined
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I wish I had advice for you. You're literally in the situation I was in about ten or eleven years ago. It sucked balls. Hopefully your luck doesn't follow like mine did.

I guess the only thing I can say is try to find an emergency line of funds/help if you cannot smooth things over with the mother, and grab the first job offered and bear through hell to stick with it as long as humanly possible. Income changes everything, everything!
 
Joined
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I feel for ya, that's a very scary situation to be in, is there no appealing to her father or any other family in the area?
 
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The answer to your problem is not difficult, it's the execution that is.

First, you have to prioritize.

1. List your assets.
2. List your expenses (while living with the future-in-laws)
3. List your expected expenses not living with them (new apartment, no free food, etc.)
4. Get an estimate on the car repair. Saying 'it's probably the fuel system' isn't an answer. What if it's only a fuse to the fuel pump? Or a clogged filter? No estimate, no resolution.

Now the hard part.

1. Live somewhere other than Corvallis. If Corvallis is too expensive, go somewhere else. Commute further.
2. Take a studio apartment or the cheapest 1 bed, you can find.
3. She should take the job even if she has to walk, beg for rides, carpool, take a bus, etc. No income, no future.
4. How new is her car? Can she trade it in for something else cheaper, smaller, more economical.
5. But the lowest car insurance you can for the state requirements.
6. Give up the fancy phone and data plan. Go prepaid.
7. Give up cable tv if you have it.
8. Give up the movies, netflix, etc. go for a walk instead.
9. No mani's or pedi's. She has to do her own stuff.
10. Sell the lasers. You can always restock later.

Basically, cut every cost you can down to the bare bones.

Things will turn around, but for now you have to go on the offensive.
 
Joined
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Hope it works out... few years ago I was deep in debt, with no place to live, and rarely had over $200 in my bank account. Lucky that I was able to stay with relatives, otherwise idk what I would have done. Still in a bit of debt, but nowhere near where I was, things are far from perfect, but they got much much better.

Get the car fixed so your wife doesn't lose the job. Keep looking for work. Consider taking anything, I mean ANYTHING paying, even if it's below what you would normally take. If you worked within the past year, see if there is some way you can file for unemployment.

As far as the situation with your mother in law, you wife has to deal with it.

6. Give up the fancy phone and data plan. Go prepaid.

***Make sure if you go this route you're not gonna get hit with cancellation fees. They can really add up.***

Sprint hit me with a $375 cancellation fee that I had to fight with them for, for almost three months before they agreed to let me out of it.
 
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SteveT

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Le Quack... Life is full of peaks and troughs; you are unfortunately in a situation that many people find themselves in at one, two or even many points in their lives. I agree the toughest part is to purge your assets and forsake those 'luxuries.' Perhaps you could pawn those items you are not ready to part with just now just to raise the cash to get the car repaired. I am not sure how the state benefit system works in the US but in the UK eligible people are afforded a 'job seekers' allowance to tide them over until they find regular employment. Also make sure you and your fiancee stick together and don't let the stress come between you. Wish you all the best of luck!
 

Teej

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I think Zathras summed it up well.

I would add that sometimes, to buy time, just play along, and if she says the bro needs the mattress, give bro the mattress, and, act like its a done deal.

If what she meant was he needs the bedroom, that's different.

See what happens.

:D
 
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In addition to what Zathras posted, highly suggest going over your expenses for say the past 3 months, preferably a year. Easier to do if you pay mostly with debit/credit, or buy things mostly online.

See where your money is going. $10 here, $8 there, $4 for a coffee, it all adds up, and so much of it are things that can be done without.

Reason I mention this, is I just did the same for myself for 2014 (taxes :() and I'm very ashamed with myself for how much I've wasted on stupid things.

Anyway, good luck, and hope things are picking up.
 

Hiemal

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Thank you all for the advice and ideas, I really appreciate them. After a couple days I've calmed down a lot, I think just the avalanche of bad things happening to me kind of overwhelmed me.

Anyway, some updates.


Well, we changed the spark plugs in her car; they were incredibly worn down and the replacement was probably a long time overdue. When it worked, the car ran a LOT smoother it seemed.

It worked great, for a day, but then I noticed some odd coincidence.

It rained the day the car didn't work right the first time. Gave it time to dry out, and it starts up fine.

Once again, rained last night. Guess what?

Car can't start again. Guessing it's moisture related, maybe the distribution cap or something. We don't know yet.


And, thankfully, our neighbor next door was outside (he's a mechanic, he deals specifically with volvos but he knows a lot about cars in general) and offered to drive her to work for a couple weeks until we get her car fixed.

So that's good. Her job may actually be full time (40 hours a week), but I'm worried about her overworking herself since she's also taking some college classes too. She's gonna be making $9.25 an hour, plus tips (which is a nice bonus).


Meanwhile, I don't know if I should keep applying to anything since the car needs to be fixed first. I don't want to be like "yeah I can go to an interview xx day at xx time" and then it rains, and the car won't start. Wouldn't be good.


Her dad, bless him for the man he is is being so helpful through all of this. He's been the only one who's been supportive and encouraging and her mom is just the complete opposite. He's paying for the car repairs and helping do the work on it.

Hell, my fiancee and her dad have even talked about moving out and getting an apartment with HIM, because her mom is just, so incredibly bad. He feels so bad for the way she acts towards everyone and is just, so tired of her shit.

Example of her behavior; Her dad got a job at a golf course that he's really wanted for a while.

He tells her, and her response is "How does that help me?"

Like, holy fuck woman, does NOTHING please you?

As for income... Well, that was part of the reason why I've been trying to make new laser drivers for people on here, but I haven't had nearly any response to them, at all. It's making me regret investing any amount of money into it.

They're cheaper than lazeerer's (and this isn't a stab at him, his drivers are wonderful) and they perform great so I don't know what I'm doing wrong on that front. If anyone has any ideas what I'm doing wrong please let me know, I want people to try them out since they'll be my only source of money for the time being.
 
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Wow, I wish I had money to help you out. Few things:
1) what about your parents?
2) are there cheaper places to live around corvallis?
3) is there anything you have that don't need that could be sold- an extra TV, lasers, electrical equipment, etc...it sucks to sell stuff, but remember things like power supplies and TV's will always be readily available.
4) reason your drivers arent selling: almost no one does DIY anymore. Its all plug and burn modules (no offense to DTR in any way). I was lucky enough to line up a fairly sizable driver sale with someone, but other than that they don't sell- hells bells man, I have them at 2 for 30$ shipped, and no interest!

Really sucks to hear about your future mother in law...sounds like a real piece of work. Cant imagine what would make someone that conceited. Super glad the dad is on your side though!

I truly hope your situation improves. Best thing to do is try to stay level headed and take it one step at a time. We're rootin' for ya :)
 
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As for income... Well, that was part of the reason why I've been trying to make new laser drivers for people on here, but I haven't had nearly any response to them, at all. It's making me regret investing any amount of money into it.

They're cheaper than lazeerer's (and this isn't a stab at him, his drivers are wonderful) and they perform great so I don't know what I'm doing wrong on that front. If anyone has any ideas what I'm doing wrong please let me know, I want people to try them out since they'll be my only source of money for the time being.

I was really disappointed the "E-Drive" never took off like it could have. I don't think you did anything wrong, it came in when 445nm building was in full swing and I guess most builders felt safer and didn't mind shelling out $20 for the drivers that have been around longer. I think the other popular drivers had more aesthetically pleasing solder jobs too back when, that may also have been part of it, but the drivers you have posted now look good.
 
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Hiemal

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I was really disappointed the "E-Drive" never took off like it could have. I don't think you did anything wrong, it came in when 445nm building was in full swing and I guess most builders felt safer and didn't mind shelling out $20 for the drivers that have been around longer. I think the other popular drivers had more aesthetically pleasing solder jobs too back when, that may also have been part of it, but the drivers you have posted now look good.

Honestly, the E-drive not taking off was probably my own fault too. It wasn't the perfect driver, and had it's own flaws (it could handle one or two cells but the problem was that the current setting would differ between the two for some reason.)

It was also extremely hard to reflow properly, since it was a QFN type package. I didn't have any solder stencils and they were so time consuming to make (if I really wanted to make sure I got my money's worth from those drivers I probably would've been selling them for like, $30) and even then they weren't guaranteed to work because of that damn QFN package.

They were money pits, so I gave up on them to try and make more reliable and easier to make drivers. Hence, the Lo-D driver and the Microdrive. But I can't support making more of them and improving them if no one is buying them. I need to sell'em to make'em ya feel. I also have a driver style (an external MOSFET style boost driver that should be able to handle just about anything thrown at it... while only being the size of a flexdrive) that I was really excited about but again, I need income from these to test them...


Also, another update, her car is working fine again. I guess her dad did some magic on the engine, and it works. She also talked to her mom, and I guess (???) i have a longer lease on my stay here? Not 100% sure on that one...
 
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Glad things are getting better, if only slightly.

Unfortunately hobby electronics is a lousy way to make money. It truly is. Most of us who have made boards or have engineered projects hardly ever even break even, much less turn a profit. It was different fourty and fifty years ago when you could really have a stable income just making pocket FM radios or simple projects like metal detectors, or even offering your services in repair. With our "throw away" society and the unbeatable pricing that is Chinese manufacturing, we can't compete. I lost a lot of money on my USSTCC tesla boards. I still have many left over. Not one I've sold has ever had any problems, and every customer is happy, but it never took off, and probably never will. I've got designs I've spent hundreds of hours on in R&D and testing that literally sit on a shelf and collect dust. Our markets are too niche and our costs are too high. In the end do it either because you love it, or don't do it at all.
 

Hiemal

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Yeah, I guess, but then I see people like, Lazeerer and he's been so successful with his drivers. I'm really happy for him but at the same time the way the market is right now there's literally no way for anyone to introduce new drivers (no competition has always been bad) unless they drop a significant amount of money into it with the hopes that they'll become popular. There's just such a stranglehold on the driver market right now... If there was some way to prove that these are good and to maybe get DTR to sell them I'd be more than willing to do so.

Hell, if just ANYONE offered to buy the drivers I make and sell them in a store you can bet your ass I'd make like, 20-30 at a time.

But I guess, as everyone's said, trying to sell bare drivers with no modules doesn't work anymore which is why I'm failing miserably at the present moment.
 
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On the car problem, I would check the battery terminals, if they have any dirt/corrosion on them, clean them off with some baking soda and water using a scrub brush.

Next would be to check the spark plug wires. If any of them are worn or cracked, then the moisture could be playing hell with them.

Hope that helps.
 

Hiemal

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On the car problem, I would check the battery terminals, if they have any dirt/corrosion on them, clean them off with some baking soda and water using a scrub brush.

Next would be to check the spark plug wires. If any of them are worn or cracked, then the moisture could be playing hell with them.

Hope that helps.

Her dad already did some magic on the car, it works fine now rain or shine.

I appreciate the advice though. :)
 




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