Share your epic school stories!

Shooey said:

Thank God it wasn't a Muslim school... they believe you would go straight to Hell for just touching a pig. Of course I dunno what the Jewish believe.

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lazorman said:

about the pig thing... i release pig numberd 1,2 and 4 they were looking for 3 all day!!!!
i painted on the numbers with spray paint and a couple friends

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Jaseth said:

lazorman I sort of doubt that since it is an old prank story which is all over the internet.. are you sure you didn't just wish you had been the one to do it?

Anyway, here is one of maybe 500 funny stories from my school. This one is quite fresh in my mind and really funny IMO.

This January one of the guys from two classes below me was standing crying in the hallway. I thought something really bad must have happened as he was 16 years old and therefore hardly at the age where you cry publicly over nothing, so I went over and asked if he was ok. He is the quiet type and I had never really spoken to him before, but he seemed kind and I felt sorry for him.
He explained to me that his grandmother has just passed away and some fat kid from my year called Lucas had been making fun of it all day, pushing him around and saying shit about his dead grandmother.
Being only about 5 months after my own grandmother had passed away, hearing about this pathetic bully seriously infuriated me. Usually I would deal with bullies by insulting them and making them look stupid in front of everyone, but I felt that this guy needed to be taught a bigger lesson.

I had never spoken to this "Lucas" before as there are over 400 people in my year at school and I don't hang out with bully loser kids, but I approached him that day and asked why he was ripping on this guy when he has just experienced something terrible, to which mr bully replied "Why do you care? He is a little pussy. What's up removed, you wanna fight?"
Now, as part of my plan I accepted a fight and then mentioned the fact that I am red belt in Taekwondo and Yondan in aikido. He instantly backed off a bit but said he would beat my ass the next day.
One thing to know about this guy is that, despite the fact that I had not talked to him before this, he is well known for foul play in every "fight" he is in and this was part of the plan.

On the arranged day (I think it was a Tuesday), I walk towards the parking lot behind one of the school buildings to meet Lucas, and as expected he has brought MORE THAN 15 guys with him! I am entirely alone facing this throng of douchebags, yet I calmly walk towards them while Lucas starts shouting really bad insults, backed by loud, dumb roars of laughter from his sheeple.
I kept on walking towards them and I could see Lucas was a bit uneasy about my confidence even when he was standing in that huge group.
Now, to top off the level of pathetic within this kid he whips out a nunchaku against me, alone and unarmed, and a couple of his friends are holding emergency hammers from busses (those red ones for smashing windows). He walks towards me with 2 of his "friends" following and the others just watching, when the most hilarious and spectacular moment of the month comes:
In one instant, the bunch of friends I have gotten to climb up onto the 3 storey building we are fighting behind all drop their waterballoons filled with flour and coca cola while one of them fires a huge blast of hot sauce he has loaded in a Supersoaker watergun towards the idiots in front of me. Suddenly every single one of these people is completely drenched and covered in a sticky mass of wet flour, more than half of them clawing at their faces and screaming because of the hot sauce.
I broke down laughing, my stomach was in serious pain from it and I was completely out of breath because of the hilarity of the confused, angry and terrified bullies in front of me.
Now the best part hasn't even come yet: About 20 seconds after the successful obliteration of the idiots, a couple of teachers as well as a school counsellor have walked around the corner to investigate why there is screaming and shouting. About 50 kids are just behind them and watching with wonder and excitement at the bunch of guys who look like they have just been kicked out of town covered in tar and feathers.
At this very point Lucas ran straight at me and swung the nunchaku towards my face. He missed by a few inches (I didn't even really have to dodge, it was obvious he hadn't used them before), and was then, because of his great speed, thrown more than 2 metres behind my shoulder in one movement. I burst out laughing again, the kids watching started cheering and one of the teachers (our religion teacher who is the local Danish priest and actually really cool) took Lucas in an arm lock and dragged him, crying, to the principle's office.
I have a difficult time deciding which was the funniest; The group of bullies screaming after the surprise attack, Lucas' flight over my shoulder or the view of him being dragged away, crying loudly in front of all the smaller kids he had previously bullied, by a priest.

The whole thing had gone above any possible expectations and we were the heroes of the school (again) for several weeks.
One of Lucas' friends was expelled as he was apparently carrying a large knife when they searched him, but Lucas himself is still at the school because his rich parents complained so much when the school was going to expell him. However I am pretty sure he is doubling this year - apparently he didn't turn up to 2 of the finals due to "Stress related illness". I laughed so hard when I heard that.

There is a bad video of this whole scene filmed from the roof-top but even though you can hardly see anything our school ordered it removed from youtube. Apart from my mate Andreas being threatened by the school for uploading the video, not a single one of us was punished for any of what we did. It is very typical for my school to desperately protect its reputation.

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Jaseth said:

lazorman I sort of doubt that since it is an old prank story which is all over the internet.. are you sure you didn't just wish you had been the one to do it?

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