Jokes thread!

[Lazerbeak]

:crackup: Terrible but hilarious.

Gamer? saw it Interesting statement. Yes not the best but I tend to enjoy bad movies sometimes

~ LB

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

It wasn't that bad, but it still kind of sucked. At least it gets points for originality. I'm kind of surprised it did so poorly in theaters.

 

[Lazerbeak]

Wow that just ruined my childhood lol

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ACCIDENTAL BONDING

A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars -- there's nothing left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."

The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune."

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

~ LB

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

That's gif.... that sucks.

I'm definitely at that third stage. Things are getting weirder by the day.

 

[Lazerbeak]

Ditto, Surreal it is...

~ LB

 

[daguin]

I think we're part of the way there. Not quite, but close.

@ IE -- The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains: Nicholas Carr: 9780393339758: Amazon.com: Books



Peace,
dave

 

[Lazerbeak]

:crackup:

I saw an interview with the author when "The Shallows" came out. Interesting to say the least :thinking: I know every time I laugh at a meme a brain cell dies

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~ LB

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

 

[daguin]

LB, you really need to start storing your own copies of the stuff you like

Peace,
dave

 

[Lazerbeak]

Understood Sir. Sorry I have no life and went a little overboard :shhh:

~ LB

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

 

[Lazerbeak]

Me too

~ LB

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

So did I. So did I

 

[Lazerbeak]

Hmm... being in the entertainment industry, not so entertaining :thinking:

Oh.

Why bacon is awesome...

~ LB

 

[InfinitusEquitas]

 

[daguin]

As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Apparently, I’m still lost…

Peace,
dave