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Old 08-19-2016, 03:54 AM #753
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by InfinitusEquitas View Post
If you want to discuss this further, I'm happy to do so, but this is not the thread for that.
Agreed, this is not the thread to continue a discussion like this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyparagon View Post
Wow, you're taking the phase "I'm going to hell for laughing at this" a little too literally.
Let other people have fun. You can find more reasonable things to get mad about.
You know that it isn't as simple as that, saying "I'm going to hell for laughing at this" is over simplifying what I was trying to point out.

Well Cyp and Infinitus, I have respect for both of you (and our other members) here on LPF, contrary to what you may think of me, I don't get offended easily, I may express my opinion but I don't hold grudges.

And I do have a sense of humour so I'll try and contribute to the jokes thread, not by saying a joke but by quoting 'Archie Bunker' from "All in the family".
I was a little too young to have watched the episodes on TV when growing up but I do remember them being on TV.
Here's a clip of Archie delivering a Eulogy at his mate 'Strecth Cummingham's' funeral.
("a priest said to a Rabbi...").




__________________
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─────────────────────────────────☀
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him
should not perish but have everlasting life.
For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world,

but that the world through Him might be saved.
“He who believes in Him is not condemned;
but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.
But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”
(John 3:16-21)
─────────────────────────────────☀
If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from
the dead, you will be saved.
For it is with your heart that you believe unto righteousness
and it is with your mouth that you confess
your faith and
are saved.
(Romans 10:9-10)
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Old 08-19-2016, 09:38 PM #754
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Old 09-06-2016, 01:07 PM #755
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

__________________
Greenie - 100mw in diy aluminum host
650nm - 260mw in MXDL host with brass heatsink
650nm - 325mw in stainless Raygun host. The dot is so bright it's
PINK/ORANGE!
Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
Please don't dazzle aircraft! You wouldn't hit someone in the face normally would you?
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Old 09-07-2016, 10:42 AM #756
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

__________________
Greenie - 100mw in diy aluminum host
650nm - 260mw in MXDL host with brass heatsink
650nm - 325mw in stainless Raygun host. The dot is so bright it's
PINK/ORANGE!
Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
Please don't dazzle aircraft! You wouldn't hit someone in the face normally would you?
Home of the stainless RAYGUN !
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Old 09-07-2016, 10:26 PM #757
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Old 09-08-2016, 08:43 PM #758
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Some swearies , but we're all adults


Grab your taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican.

My new girlfriend wouldn't sleep with me and told me "patience is the key"...... Maybe so, but Rohypnol is the lock-pick.

I thought Tweets were what Jonathon Ross gave his dog.

What's the difference between David Haye and my trousers? My trousers have a belt.

I'm not saying I've got a big cock but when I get a hard-on I haven't got enough skin left to close my eyes

I went into KFC and asked for a combo. The guy behind the counter gave me two jabs and an uppercut.

Got a letter in the post today. it said DO NOT BEND. I thought, 'how the hell am i supposed to pick it up?'

My gf's breath is so bad, i look forward to her farts!

I got my Heavy Goods Licence today. or as my missus prefers to call it, a Marriage Certificate.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...I cant put it down!

My missus said, "I wish, I could have bigger breasts". I replied, Try pushing them into the sofa and keep them there all day!" "Will that help?" She asks. "Well it's worked for your fucking arse," I said....

Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline for a few hours.

I went to Currys, They didn't do curry. I went to Selfridges, they didn't sell fridges. And believe me, the Virgin Megastore was a huge disappointment

My sister had a baby boy and she's gonna name him Mark, with a "C". Cark?? stupid name if you ask me.

I met a gorgeous girl in a nightclub last night...there was instant chemistry between us.... Specifically, Rohypnol and Chloroform.

Note to self : Remove dog before stabbing box to make air-holes.

I hate people that say, "He's a nice person once you get to know him." They might as well just say, "He's a dickhead, but you'll get used to it."
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Old 09-09-2016, 01:31 PM #759
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

__________________
Greenie - 100mw in diy aluminum host
650nm - 260mw in MXDL host with brass heatsink
650nm - 325mw in stainless Raygun host. The dot is so bright it's
PINK/ORANGE!
Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
Please don't dazzle aircraft! You wouldn't hit someone in the face normally would you?
Home of the stainless RAYGUN !
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Old 09-11-2016, 10:40 AM #760
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

__________________
Greenie - 100mw in diy aluminum host
650nm - 260mw in MXDL host with brass heatsink
650nm - 325mw in stainless Raygun host. The dot is so bright it's
PINK/ORANGE!
Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
Please don't dazzle aircraft! You wouldn't hit someone in the face normally would you?
Home of the stainless RAYGUN !
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Old 09-12-2016, 11:56 AM #761
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

__________________
Greenie - 100mw in diy aluminum host
650nm - 260mw in MXDL host with brass heatsink
650nm - 325mw in stainless Raygun host. The dot is so bright it's
PINK/ORANGE!
Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
Please don't dazzle aircraft! You wouldn't hit someone in the face normally would you?
Home of the stainless RAYGUN !
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Old 09-12-2016, 09:28 PM #762
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Old 09-13-2016, 12:00 AM #763
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

A take off on a famous Abbott and Costello theme.
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Old 09-13-2016, 12:44 PM #764
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

^ Nice!

__________________
Greenie - 100mw in diy aluminum host
650nm - 260mw in MXDL host with brass heatsink
650nm - 325mw in stainless Raygun host. The dot is so bright it's
PINK/ORANGE!
Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
Please don't dazzle aircraft! You wouldn't hit someone in the face normally would you?
Home of the stainless RAYGUN !

Last edited by millirad; 09-13-2016 at 12:45 PM.
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Old 09-16-2016, 11:11 AM #765
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

__________________
Greenie - 100mw in diy aluminum host
650nm - 260mw in MXDL host with brass heatsink
650nm - 325mw in stainless Raygun host. The dot is so bright it's
PINK/ORANGE!
Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
Please don't dazzle aircraft! You wouldn't hit someone in the face normally would you?
Home of the stainless RAYGUN !
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Old 09-16-2016, 11:57 AM #766
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by millirad View Post
LOL, this made me chuckle... we've got eight as well.

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─────────────────────────────────☀
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him
should not perish but have everlasting life.
For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world,

but that the world through Him might be saved.
“He who believes in Him is not condemned;
but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.
But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”
(John 3:16-21)
─────────────────────────────────☀
If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from
the dead, you will be saved.
For it is with your heart that you believe unto righteousness
and it is with your mouth that you confess
your faith and
are saved.
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Old 09-17-2016, 11:33 AM #767
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Greenie - 100mw in diy aluminum host
650nm - 260mw in MXDL host with brass heatsink
650nm - 325mw in stainless Raygun host. The dot is so bright it's
PINK/ORANGE!
Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
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Old 10-07-2016, 05:21 PM #768
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