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Old 06-16-2016, 03:25 PM #737
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Old 06-18-2016, 09:51 PM #738
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

A tourist was in a small Mexican town one night, on his way to meet a friend at a bar. He was running late and had accidently left his watch in his room. He spied a fellow sitting on the sidewalk against the wall beside a donkey, a laser in his lap. He walked over to the fellow and asked "excuse me, do you know what time it is?" The fellow said cee, then lifted the donkeys balls with one hand, and shined the laser under them with the other. "Its 10:31" he said. The tourist was dumbfound. How could the fellow tell time this way? "Are you sure" the tourist said. The fellow then repeated the process lifting the balls with one hand while shining the laser with the other. "Cee, its 10:32". This was more than the tourist could take so he asked the fellow "how can you tell time this way? The fellow said "first you lift the balls, then you shine the laser at the clock over there.
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Old 07-07-2016, 04:59 PM #739
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Old 07-18-2016, 06:03 PM #740
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

There was a doctor, a priest and an engineer playing golf.

Ahead of them there were some people playing very bad and very slow, and they had to wait.

The priest asked the caddy "Who are those guys?"

The caddy said "Many years ago there was a fire in the main office of the golf club, and these men saved the lifes of many others. Unfortunately they got blind due to the smoke, and the golf club awarded them with a lifetime membership"

The priest said "That´s awful, I´ll say a prayer for them"

The doctor said "I´ll see if one of my colleagues can help them recover their sights"



The engineer said "WHY DON´T THEY PLAY AT NIGHT???"
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Old 07-19-2016, 09:21 PM #741
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Old 07-25-2016, 02:57 PM #742
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Old 08-12-2016, 10:02 PM #743
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Wow. I guess that one didn't tickle my funny bone.
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Old 08-13-2016, 01:49 AM #744
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

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Originally Posted by InfinitusEquitas View Post
Not funny. I had acquaintances there and live not far from the ground zero. Nothing to joke about.
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Old 08-14-2016, 02:36 AM #745
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

@ InfinitusEquitas
Is there nothing left that would be considered inappropriate to joke about?
People loosing their lives !!!
I find it highly offensive that these would even be considered remotely funny.

Seriously.....



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For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him
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For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world,

but that the world through Him might be saved.
“He who believes in Him is not condemned;
but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.
But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”
(John 3:16-21)
─────────────────────────────────☀
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Old 08-15-2016, 03:27 PM #746
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

I don't believe any subject should be entirely off limits. People die everyday, and humor is one way to both remember those we lost, and move past a tragedy. Nor is there anything intrinsically offensive about the use of vibrators. That said, I do understand why you would find it offensive, and so my post is now deleted.

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Old 08-15-2016, 06:30 PM #747
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by InfinitusEquitas View Post
I don't believe any subject should be entirely off limits. People die everyday, and humor is one way to both remember those we lost, and move past a tragedy. Nor is there anything intrinsically offensive about the use of vibrators. That said, I do understand why you would find it offensive, and so my post is now deleted.


IDK, I think if you made a joke about people who lost their lives on 9/11 just months after the fact, it might not be well received.
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Old 08-15-2016, 10:33 PM #748
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by InfinitusEquitas View Post
I don't believe any subject should be entirely off limits. People die everyday, and humor is one way to both remember those we lost, and move past a tragedy. That said, I do understand why you would find it offensive, and so my post is now deleted.
I appreciate that you deleted your post but I can't agree that 'any subject' is laughable, even if a lot of time has passed, (just like Paul said about 9/11).
I'm from Greek descent but I still can't laugh at jokes about the crematoria ovens at Auschwitz, at Dachau etc.
My Grandfather hid a Jewish tailor in his roof in Greece at great danger to himself and his family.
They survived the German occupation but very nearly got caught.
And so as the Jewish people say, "Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world."

Laugh at anything if you want, but just remember you are destroying someone else's soul in the process..

Anyway, thank you for deleting it.

RB
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─────────────────────────────────☀
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him
should not perish but have everlasting life.
For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world,

but that the world through Him might be saved.
“He who believes in Him is not condemned;
but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.
But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”
(John 3:16-21)
─────────────────────────────────☀
If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from
the dead, you will be saved.
For it is with your heart that you believe unto righteousness
and it is with your mouth that you confess
your faith and
are saved.
(Romans 10:9-10)
─────────────────────────────────☀

Last edited by RB astro; 08-15-2016 at 10:37 PM.
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Old 08-16-2016, 03:51 PM #749
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

So a joke that you disagree with is me destroying a soul? I am sorry for you because you must have a very fragile soul if it so easily threatened.

Btw, I'm Jewish. My grandparents fled Germany and Kiev to escape persecution, and I have personally experienced racism and antisemitism, and have a scar on my face as a memento of it. I have talked with a few survivors years ago as well. You know that the last woman I met said? One of the things at least, that stuck. Try to find joy everywhere you can in life.


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Old 08-18-2016, 12:00 PM #750
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by InfinitusEquitas View Post
Nor is there anything intrinsically offensive about the use of vibrators.
Oh no you don't.... you're not going to sit there and try and redeem 'some' legitimacy and respectability from out of your post by casting aspersions that infer that we simply got offended at the sight of a vibrator... no, no.
You were laughing at the mass murder of certain human beings because you yourself are insecure and find it easier to laugh at the people that this happened to.

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Originally Posted by InfinitusEquitas View Post
So a joke that you disagree with is me destroying a soul? I am sorry for you because you must have a very fragile soul if it so easily threatened.
No, wrong again.
It's a joke that you find funny and by doing so you're destroying your own soul.
And no, I'm not easily threatened, in fact I think this is probably the first time I've posted in this thread, even though I read through it from time to time.

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Originally Posted by InfinitusEquitas View Post
Btw, I'm Jewish.
Yes, I knew.

Quote:
Originally Posted by InfinitusEquitas View Post
My grandparents fled Germany and Kiev to escape persecution,
and I have personally experienced racism and antisemitism, and have a scar on my face as a memento of it.
I have talked with a few survivors years ago as well.
You know that the last woman I met said? One of the things at least, that stuck.
Try to find joy everywhere you can in life.
Yes, the holocaust touched every family, a tragedy beyond belief.
I have visited Yad Vashem twice in my life.
The joy I walked away with was that the beast did not succeed in destroying God's people.

But I defy anyone, including you, to walk away from Yad Vashem laughing at what happened back then.....

Do you see the difference between 'joy' and 'cheap crude humour' ?
It is beneath you not to be able to differentiate between joy and cheap crude humour I think.

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Old 08-18-2016, 07:07 PM #751
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

If you want to discuss this further, I'm happy to do so, but this is not the thread for that. And get off your high horse. It was a joke. You didn't like it? Move on.
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Old 08-18-2016, 07:35 PM #752
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

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Originally Posted by RB astro View Post
It's a joke that you find funny and by doing so you're destroying your own soul.



Wow, you're taking the phase "I'm going to hell for laughing at this" a little too literally. Warning against ie's soul is like me threatening to punch your aura, or warning you Santa won't bring you any presents.

Let other people have fun. You can find more reasonable things to get mad about.
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