Old 01-16-2016, 02:13 AM #705
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by trussmonkey25 View Post
That's just wrong
You're right, should have gone in the religion thread

Incidentally, I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats.

Prophets are going through the roof




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Old 01-16-2016, 02:46 AM #706
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Smile Re: Jokes thread!

Haha i love this images
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Jokes thread!-12219411_1012924062104709_6775632756590600210_n.jpg   Jokes thread!-298047_196808233716300_4650893_n.jpg  
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Old 01-16-2016, 08:35 AM #707
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

From Siki :-

I was at a job interview today, and the interviewer said, "It says on your CV that you are quick at mental arithmetic. What's seventeen times nineteen?"

I immediately said, "Thirty-six."

He said, "That's not even close."

I said, "But it was quick."
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:45 PM #708
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Talking Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ped View Post
From Siki :-

I was at a job interview today, and the interviewer said, "It says on your CV that you are quick at mental arithmetic. What's seventeen times nineteen?"

I immediately said, "Thirty-six."

He said, "That's not even close."

I said, "But it was quick."

The Quick and the Ped.

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Old 01-17-2016, 04:55 AM #709
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Default Re: Jokes thread!



Very mildly NSFW: http://i.imgur.com/pG54JL4.jpg

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Old 01-27-2016, 11:07 AM #710
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

From Sicki :-

What's the difference between USB and USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data. The other is a hardware standard.
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Old 03-03-2016, 09:03 PM #711
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

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Old 03-03-2016, 09:24 PM #712
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

That is hilarious! Thanks.
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Old 04-03-2016, 07:03 AM #713
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Why are pirates so mean? They just arrrh!
Sorry had to do it
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Old 04-03-2016, 07:55 AM #714
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stone0311 View Post
Why are pirates so mean? They just arrrh!
Sorry had to do it
I'll see that and raise

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Old 04-05-2016, 05:05 PM #715
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own question?
I do.
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Old 04-05-2016, 07:08 PM #716
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Old 04-08-2016, 04:33 PM #717
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Old 04-09-2016, 04:41 AM #718
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Default Re: Jokes thread!



Alan
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Old 04-11-2016, 01:55 AM #719
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." ¯The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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Old 04-12-2016, 09:27 PM #720
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

What should you do if a PhD candidate in philosophy knocks on your door?

Pay him for the pizza.
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650nm 380mW 501B
808nm 1+W infrared laser
infrared video camera for collimating IR lasers
Ocean Optics USB2000 Spectrometer
Scientech Vector S310 with AC2500 10 Watt LPM
LaserBee II 3.2 Watt LPM
Radiant X4 3.7 Watt LPM
Eisco Scientific Spectroscope 400nm- 700nm
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