Old 02-20-2014, 08:41 AM #449
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

As I stood outside Buckingham Palace today, I stopped a woman who was jogging and said, "Do you mind taking a photo of me and my grandad?"

"It would be a pleasure." she replied.

"Nice one," I said, handing her a photo of me and my grandad.


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Old 02-20-2014, 12:58 PM #450
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Default Re: Jokes thread!



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Old 02-21-2014, 11:43 AM #451
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

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Old 02-22-2014, 08:03 AM #452
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Old 02-23-2014, 12:17 PM #453
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Old 02-27-2014, 03:14 AM #454
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Old 02-27-2014, 08:26 AM #455
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Made me chuckle

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Old 02-27-2014, 11:34 AM #456
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Old 02-28-2014, 01:36 PM #457
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Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
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Old 02-28-2014, 05:41 PM #458
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

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Old 03-01-2014, 08:40 AM #459
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

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Greenie - 100mw in diy aluminum host
650nm - 260mw in MXDL host with brass heatsink
650nm - 325mw in stainless Raygun host. The dot is so bright it's
PINK/ORANGE!
Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
Please don't dazzle aircraft! You wouldn't hit someone in the face normally would you?
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Old 03-01-2014, 12:50 PM #460
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
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Old 03-02-2014, 12:34 PM #461
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

^

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Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
Please don't dazzle aircraft! You wouldn't hit someone in the face normally would you?
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Old 03-03-2014, 02:26 AM #462
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ped View Post
A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
Definitely stealing this one






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Old 03-05-2014, 03:57 PM #463
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!


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Old 03-09-2014, 12:57 PM #464
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

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Greenie - 100mw in diy aluminum host
650nm - 260mw in MXDL host with brass heatsink
650nm - 325mw in stainless Raygun host. The dot is so bright it's
PINK/ORANGE!
Thanks Jay! Thanks Drew! Thanks Larry! Thanks Glenn! Thanks Dave!

Pink - 500mW (white w/red , ok not till later)
Please don't dazzle aircraft! You wouldn't hit someone in the face normally would you?
Home of the stainless RAYGUN !
millirad is offline   Reply With Quote
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