Old 09-26-2013, 03:46 AM #305
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Retelling jokes you heard requires a little talent and a good memory helps and of course its all about your timing.


Writing jokes is HOWEVER much different.
the most talented write thier own
-some write and also have writers.

Any who are funny and also write ALL thier own are the most talented.
while repeating other's jokes off stage is common and OK its verbotten on stage and frowned upon extremely.

I was a funny dood in school did a lot of stand=up (in the corner)
I made many laugh as a freshman-- best two years on my life.

here is my newst joke and a good one I wrote a while back.

Did you see on the news about Dr Sanjat Kooptja did a reversal on his opinion concerning medical cababis??

I am not surprized-- I have always said:
'A SanJay a day keeps the Doctor away'

***************

'When I was in college to earn beer money i did lots of clinical drug trials.

So many, in fact, I eventually became addicted to Placebo.

I was in deep.. once tried to buy from a street dealer using Monopoly money- he pretented to nearly beat me to death.

Towards the end...

it became so bad to get clean I had to do 90 days in a fake re-hab.'

********** >(*U*)< ***********

'not all drugs are good..

, some are great' ( that very last part I stole)


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Last edited by hakzaw1; 09-26-2013 at 03:49 AM.
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Old 09-26-2013, 03:51 AM #306
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by hakzaw1
'When I was in college to earn beer money i did lots of clinical drug trials.

So many, in fact, I eventually became addicted to Placebo.

I was in deep.. once tried to buy from a street dealer using Moniopoly money- he pretented to nearly beat me to death.

Towards the end...

it became so bad to get clean I had to do 90 days in a fake re-hab.'

********** >(*U*)< ***********

'not all drugs are good..

, some are great' ( that very last part I stole)
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Old 09-27-2013, 05:41 AM #307
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

One day, a French spy received a coded message from an American spy claiming it came directly from President Bush. It read: S370HSSV-0773H.

The spy was stumped, so he sent it to his boss at the agency. His boss was stumped too, so he sent it to the Russians for decoding.

The Russians couldn't solve it either, so they asked the Germans.

The Germans, having received this same message during WWII from the Americans, suggested turning it upside down.
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Old 09-27-2013, 05:51 AM #308
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Cryptography, not for the easily offended

~ LB
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Old 10-02-2013, 09:06 PM #309
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

How image stabilization really works...

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Old 10-03-2013, 07:26 PM #310
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

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Old 10-04-2013, 01:24 PM #311
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

So Sinead O'Connor wrote a letter to Miley Cyrus warning her not to go off the rails..

She's also written a letter to JFK that says 'duck' and one to the passengers of the Costa Concordia to give the voyage a miss on 13th January.
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Old 10-08-2013, 05:21 PM #312
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Some seriousness.

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Old 10-08-2013, 05:48 PM #313
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by gismo View Post
Some seriousness.

great stuff and looks real for the customers ,no doubt
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Old 10-08-2013, 06:22 PM #314
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

That was awesome

Very elaborate setup. The only really obvious part a customer might have spotted would be the wire.
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Old 10-09-2013, 03:09 PM #315
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

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Old 10-09-2013, 03:54 PM #316
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

The Perfect Day - Her . (Bit old on the President bit )

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping 2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs 3:00 Facial, massage, nap 7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing 10:00 Make love 11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day - Him

6:45 Alarm. 7:00 Shower and massage. 7:30 Blowjob. 7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section. 8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys. 8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens. 12:30 Blowjob. 12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini. 3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). *** for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap. 6:15 Blowjob. 6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit. 7:30 Shit, shower, shave. 8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals). 9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero 10:30 *** with 3 women, all from different countries 11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep
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Old 10-09-2013, 05:04 PM #317
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

I notice a recurring theme
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Old 10-09-2013, 05:15 PM #318
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Quote:
Originally Posted by InfinitusEquitas View Post
I notice a recurring theme
yes nothing strange about that reoccurring theme, very popular lol ...
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Old 10-09-2013, 05:17 PM #319
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Did I say there was? It's actually my personal favorite theme
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Old 10-09-2013, 05:50 PM #320
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Default Re: Jokes thread!

Yes although i probably could have dropped the golf
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125 mW 405 nm focus-able 501b
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865 mW 445 nm Kryton Groove
1130 mW 450 nm focus-able custom
1175 mW 450 nm focus-able S4

1375 mW 445 nm WL ARCTIC S3
2.3 watt 445 nm G2 -Cree Q5
3.1 watt +Adj 445 nm Blitzbuck V3.1 9mm SS Survival host

95 mW 532nm custom focus-able
110 mW 532 nm S4 host
125 mW 532 nm SD 305A x 2
135 mW 532 nm SD 301 focus-able x2

135 mW 532 nm focusable laser SD 303 x2
175 mW 532 nm custom focus-able

494 mW 532 nm O like Crown*
100 mW 589 nm
PGL III C
115 mW 635 nm custom C6 host
800 mW 635 nm Hotlights host G1 lens

155 mW 645 nm custom 501b host
160 mW 650 nm focus-able C6 host
255 mW 650 nm SD301
280 mW 650 nm SD302
260 mW 660 nm custom C6 host
505 mW 660 nm custom C6 host
45 mW 650 red and 114 mW 532nm multi laser
350mW 830 nm IR custom C6 focus-able
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