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Anybody got Jokes?






daguin

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What did the fish say when it swam onto the wall?


"Dam!"
 
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Descartes walks into a bar. Barkeep says "hey, you want a beer?"

Descartes says "I think not", and DISAPPEARS.
 

daguin

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A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
 
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Bar animal jokes, huh?

A guy with a giraffe walks into a bar. They sit down and have a few drinks together.

Five hours later, it's 2:00am. They're completely hammered. The giraffe is lying unconscious on the bar floor. The guy turns to leave - but the barman says "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!"

The guy turns to the barman and says "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe."


Here's a racist one. I'm going to write it in size 6, lol. My black friend from the UK loved this joke. You need to have a bit of a relaxed attitude to read it, okay?

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The barman says "Hey, that's pretty cool. Where'd you get it?" The parrot says "In Africa, there's tons of 'em."

=P
 

daguin

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Two blonds walk into a bar . . . .

You'd think one of them would have seen it and ducked
 
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YES, YES, THIS IS A PRIEST AND A RABBI JOKE! :D

A Priest and a Rabbi are riding in a plane. After a while, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The Rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The Priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the Rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted pork."

The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the Priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The Priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The Rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The Priest replied, "Yes Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."

The Rabbi nodded understandingly for a moment and then said, "A lot better than pork isn't it?"
 




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