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Old 09-18-2016, 03:38 AM #1
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Default Post your "Chinglish" quotes!

Hello folks!
Inspired by the unforgettable quote in my signature, I decided to make this thread.
I'll start it off with this:
A few years back I bought a "1W" RGB unit from a shady eBay seller. After the blue and green lasers died, I contacted the company and demanded a refund.
Their response:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chinese eBay seller
Our lasers very truth,, every second child profiteers!

Next we have this company ("COW top-shopping mall") which made outrageous claims of 50000mW in handheld lasers. So I contacted them, asking them "Do you measure the power of your lasers with a laser power meter?"
I got this response:
Quote:
Originally Posted by rony white
this laser pointer can range to very long.
i can not measure it
I wasn't asking about distance!
So I flat-out asked him what the real power was.
His response:
Quote:
Originally Posted by rony white
we lie about power,
real power 1500mw



Finally, we have this exchange (read from the bottom up) with "zong wang" of a company called "Real power is 100%"!



Real power isn't 100%.


Please post your own exchanges with Chinese companies, or any other Chinglish you've seen.


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405nm "5mW" eBay pen, 50mW 'bottle' pointer, 450mW lmlaser
445nm 7W NUBM44 Revan lightsaber build
450nm 2W SF501B, 10mW pointer, 50mW lmlaser
453nm 100mW LaserBTB HL
455nm "1.6W" Arcane
457.9nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
470nm NUBM07E S4X build
473nm 100mW PL-E Pro
476.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
488nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
496.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
501.7nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
513nm 50mW in Thor host
514.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
515nm 200mW SF501B
520nm 1.4W S4X build
527nm primary DPSS (301)
532nm 500mW XPL-H, 2x gearbest, 9-line 301, 35mW lmlaser
537nm secondary DPSS (4x)
542nm secondary DPSS (2x)
543.5nm Gammex alignment HeNe
547nm secondary DPSS
561nm 50mW PGL-III-C
583.8nm Spartan mid-cold line
586.2nm Spartan cold line
589nm 120mW PGL-III-C, unique DL Spartan (7+ lines) 162mW!
591nm Spartan cold line
593.5nm LaserGlow Rigel-6; Spartan cold line
632.8nm 10mW JDSU HeNe, 10mW Lasos HeNe
636nm 90mW DL Spartan
638nm 600mW XPL-310
650nm 5mW pointer
660nm "100mW" (3x), 650nm "5mW" eBay pen
690nm 15mW laserlands module

Others:
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Last edited by Sta; 09-24-2016 at 02:05 AM.
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Old 09-18-2016, 07:42 PM #2
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by chueliang View Post
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015...d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015...d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015...d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015...d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015...d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015...d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015...d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015...d-b12db8b6c101
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2015...d-b12db8b6c101
?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????laser 301 laser laser pointer laser torch ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????????????????????laser
Looks like we've attracted a spammer. Fantastic.
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405nm "5mW" eBay pen, 50mW 'bottle' pointer, 450mW lmlaser
445nm 7W NUBM44 Revan lightsaber build
450nm 2W SF501B, 10mW pointer, 50mW lmlaser
453nm 100mW LaserBTB HL
455nm "1.6W" Arcane
457.9nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
470nm NUBM07E S4X build
473nm 100mW PL-E Pro
476.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
488nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
496.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
501.7nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
513nm 50mW in Thor host
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515nm 200mW SF501B
520nm 1.4W S4X build
527nm primary DPSS (301)
532nm 500mW XPL-H, 2x gearbest, 9-line 301, 35mW lmlaser
537nm secondary DPSS (4x)
542nm secondary DPSS (2x)
543.5nm Gammex alignment HeNe
547nm secondary DPSS
561nm 50mW PGL-III-C
583.8nm Spartan mid-cold line
586.2nm Spartan cold line
589nm 120mW PGL-III-C, unique DL Spartan (7+ lines) 162mW!
591nm Spartan cold line
593.5nm LaserGlow Rigel-6; Spartan cold line
632.8nm 10mW JDSU HeNe, 10mW Lasos HeNe
636nm 90mW DL Spartan
638nm 600mW XPL-310
650nm 5mW pointer
660nm "100mW" (3x), 650nm "5mW" eBay pen
690nm 15mW laserlands module

Others:
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Old 09-18-2016, 07:45 PM #3
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Hahaha that's pretty funny. Selling a 10000000mW 532 handheld

-Alex
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Old 09-22-2016, 01:52 AM #4
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Today I got this monstrosity from a random aliexpress seller who somehow found my e-mail address. I have no idea what it means, and I've never dealt with the guy before.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russel
Now it is the led times,in COLORFUL LIGHT family have twins brother born.Welcome to our family.
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405nm "5mW" eBay pen, 50mW 'bottle' pointer, 450mW lmlaser
445nm 7W NUBM44 Revan lightsaber build
450nm 2W SF501B, 10mW pointer, 50mW lmlaser
453nm 100mW LaserBTB HL
455nm "1.6W" Arcane
457.9nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
470nm NUBM07E S4X build
473nm 100mW PL-E Pro
476.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
488nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
496.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
501.7nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
513nm 50mW in Thor host
514.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
515nm 200mW SF501B
520nm 1.4W S4X build
527nm primary DPSS (301)
532nm 500mW XPL-H, 2x gearbest, 9-line 301, 35mW lmlaser
537nm secondary DPSS (4x)
542nm secondary DPSS (2x)
543.5nm Gammex alignment HeNe
547nm secondary DPSS
561nm 50mW PGL-III-C
583.8nm Spartan mid-cold line
586.2nm Spartan cold line
589nm 120mW PGL-III-C, unique DL Spartan (7+ lines) 162mW!
591nm Spartan cold line
593.5nm LaserGlow Rigel-6; Spartan cold line
632.8nm 10mW JDSU HeNe, 10mW Lasos HeNe
636nm 90mW DL Spartan
638nm 600mW XPL-310
650nm 5mW pointer
660nm "100mW" (3x), 650nm "5mW" eBay pen
690nm 15mW laserlands module

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Old 09-22-2016, 02:36 AM #5
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Selling a 10000000mW 532 handheld ) it is wrong! ^^
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Old 09-22-2016, 05:44 AM #6
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by thanhtung View Post
Selling a 10000000mW 532 handheld ) it is wrong! ^^
Damn right it is! If I ever have a 1kW 532 handheld I'd NEVER sell it
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Old 09-22-2016, 08:43 AM #7
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

I get a kick out of "rony white" wonder what his real name is
This is "very truth" funny thread
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Old 09-22-2016, 05:36 PM #8
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

This thread is just what I needed lol thanks.

Reminds me of that engrish.com website.
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Old 09-22-2016, 05:49 PM #9
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Thanks folks. I was hoping some other people would have stuff to post but I suppose I am fine on my own.
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405nm "5mW" eBay pen, 50mW 'bottle' pointer, 450mW lmlaser
445nm 7W NUBM44 Revan lightsaber build
450nm 2W SF501B, 10mW pointer, 50mW lmlaser
453nm 100mW LaserBTB HL
455nm "1.6W" Arcane
457.9nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
470nm NUBM07E S4X build
473nm 100mW PL-E Pro
476.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
488nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
496.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
501.7nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
513nm 50mW in Thor host
514.5nm JDSU 2214-40MLA
515nm 200mW SF501B
520nm 1.4W S4X build
527nm primary DPSS (301)
532nm 500mW XPL-H, 2x gearbest, 9-line 301, 35mW lmlaser
537nm secondary DPSS (4x)
542nm secondary DPSS (2x)
543.5nm Gammex alignment HeNe
547nm secondary DPSS
561nm 50mW PGL-III-C
583.8nm Spartan mid-cold line
586.2nm Spartan cold line
589nm 120mW PGL-III-C, unique DL Spartan (7+ lines) 162mW!
591nm Spartan cold line
593.5nm LaserGlow Rigel-6; Spartan cold line
632.8nm 10mW JDSU HeNe, 10mW Lasos HeNe
636nm 90mW DL Spartan
638nm 600mW XPL-310
650nm 5mW pointer
660nm "100mW" (3x), 650nm "5mW" eBay pen
690nm 15mW laserlands module

Others:
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Thunder Optics Spectrometer

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Old 09-22-2016, 06:53 PM #10
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sta View Post
Thanks folks. I was hoping some other people would have stuff to post but I suppose I am fine on my own.
If you are ever having a bad day those Chinglish phrases are sure to bring a smile

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405nm: laserbtb LP405-5 (peak 10mW)

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Old 09-22-2016, 07:05 PM #11
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

For some of the newer guys who may not have seen it, there is a another related thread to this "Chinese company quotes" thread, it's the "Post your Chinglish FAILS here" thread; it's also pretty funny!
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Old 09-22-2016, 07:18 PM #12
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sta View Post
Thanks folks. I was hoping some other people would have stuff to post but I suppose I am fine on my own.
Well iv'e only dealt with 2 China based company's, and for a few customer service issue's one was for a DOA green pointer and they wanted a pic of it not working and the same with a pair of red laser safety glasses that did absolutely nothing from Fastech but nothing funny only that they didn't come damaged and weren't replaceable. I guess I could of sent them a pic of my eye's all red
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Old 09-23-2016, 02:38 AM #13
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

One of my favorites was a warning label on one of the chiller units here @ work. The label had the same warnings in several languages. The intended message: Avoid prolonged breathing of vapor. The translation: Do not suck long time steam.
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Old 09-24-2016, 01:59 AM #14
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Default Re: Post your Chinese company quotes!

when i had my red laser 303, the label on the focusing thingy said
"Not allowed the beam directly to the eye exposure"
thought that was kinda funny, showed some friends and stuff and it was great
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Old 09-24-2016, 02:05 AM #15
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Default Re: Post your "Chinglish" quotes!

I changed the title; would a moderator please move this to the "Other" section?
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Old 09-24-2016, 02:44 AM #16
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Default Re: Post your "Chinglish" quotes!

I know I've seen Hap combine threads before, should just do the same with this one and combine it with the old one.
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